Parenting Question...

Is there any way to train your child to become more compassionate, or is that just a God-given trait? My 7-year-old has apparently inherited my lack of mercy, and it's affecting all our family relationships plus several of her friendships at school and church.

Case in point: We were talking about compassion, and I asked, "When you see someone who is upset or hurt, what do you do?"

Her answer: "I just walk away."

Her hard heart is breaking my heart. Any suggestions?

Anti-Consumer Challenge

On Tuesday night I was attemping to tidy up our study, and I ended up spending an hour going through our receipts folder and shredding any and all unnecessary and outdated receipts. I filled up two grocery bags with shredded receipts, some of which dated back to '04.

Skip ahead to Wednesday when I was searching for a rubber stamp to loan to a friend and realized that I can't find anything in my craft area because I've apparently bought half of Hobby Lobby without ever using any of it.

Fast forward to today, where I spend several hours going through the front hall closet and realized that, collectively, our family of five owns 26 jackets and coats, which is especially ridiculous considering we're in South Texas.

And finally tonight, I discovered that my son and his friend destroyed the brand new Spurs trashcan that I had just bought yesterday. I found myself extremely angry over a $12.99 metal trashcan that the boys had apparently sat on or jumped on several times until it was flattened.

Even though I've never liked the gross level of materialism in America, I've become one of it's major consumers. I can't remember the last time I ever asked myself whether I really needed what I was buying. Scrapbook paper is on sale? Great, I'll stock up. Not in the mood for a sandwich at home? No problem -- I can grab something at Taco Cabana. And I won't even admit how many pairs of shoes I have. I get so excited when I actually find a pair of shoes in my size that I tend to snatch them up whether or not I actually need yet another pair of summer sandals.

So here's my plan. I've decided to go on a fast from consumerism. Starting tomorrow morning, I'm only going to purchase the basic necessities for my family. Groceries, but only the minimal basics and only from a list based on a definite menu plan. (I'm also going to challenge myself to get creative and use up the stash in my pantry and freezer.) There will be no drive-thru meals (unless I'm using a freebie coupon). There will be no impulse buys just because it's on sale or tempting. There will be no decoration purchases, clothing purchases, or scrapbooking or craft purchases. No books. No CDs. Basically, no stuff.

I'm not going to give myself a timeline, partly because I'm just curious to see how long I can last. Also, I don't want to beat myself up too badly if I don't last a week.

Here's the tough part -- I work as a mystery shopper. Even worse, tomorrow I have to go to Target for a job. I'm required to spend $50 in cash, so I'm going to keep myself accountable by only bringing $60 to the store. And I know we need a new cordless phone so that will be the bulk or entirety of the purchase. If the phone is less than $50, I'm going to do my darndest to find an actual necessity, such as supplies for Caelyn's upcoming birthday party.

Also, I have to bend the eating-out rules just a little bit since I have several restaurant mystery shops in the next couple weeks. Sometimes the shop only covers two adult entrees, but we often need to take our kids and would like to feed them, too. So, I'm going to allow meals for the kids when I'm doing a mystery shop, but we're going to try and share meals and limit the food waste.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is going to be for me and the kids. Tune in for further reflection after I last a few days.

Really? I'd always pictured myself as a Snickerdoodle... sweet, spicy, and a little cracked on top

You Are a Jam Cookie

On the outside, you project a straight-laced, innocent vibe. But on the inside, you're complex, exotic, and full of flavor.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Go Spurs Go!

NBA playoffs have officially begun, which means that I'll be on a constant adrenaline rush from now until the Spurs win it all or get knocked out. Last night's game was not a great start, but we've won plenty a series after losing the first game. And it made me darn, DARN happy that the Mavericks got skunked by the #8 seed.

I saw a great T-shirt last month that read:
I root for the Spurs and for whichever team is beating the Mavericks.
A little mean, but that's what makes rivalries fun.

I Got My Groove On

I tried something new at the gym yesterday... a dance class called Body and Soul. It was a full hour of FAST moving salsa and hip hop dancing, something I have never done before (and it showed). The instructor is an adorable, petite Hispanic woman who also teaches belly dancing, so she can shake her groove thing without any problem. Me? I'm more akin to a gorilla. Still, it was a blast and I'll try it again. My heart rate stayed UP the entire time and I probably burned several hundred calories, plus I logged 6,000 steps on my pedometer. Not a bad way to spend an hour, except for the embarrassment factor.

You NEED This

I got the NIV Audio Bible a couple years ago for my birthday. The plan was for me to listen to it while I was on my treadmill, but that never happened. But here's what we've discovered: Our kids love to listen to it during dinner time. On Friday night we couldn't make it to the Good Friday service at church, so we listened to the dramatized version from Mark's gospel. The kids were attentive, excited, and eager to share what they knew, too. It was a great alternative to church since Kevin had to work late.
And on that note, why isn't Good Friday a national holiday? The post office was open and some schools were still in session. We get Veterans Day, MLK Day, Memorial Day, etc., but not the day when Christ actually died for our sins? Just another prime example of why America is not a Christian nation.

It's Not a Leg-Shaped Lamp, But Still...

I feel like the dad in The Christmas Story when he dances around the living room yelling, "I won I won I won!" Moments later the door knocks, a crate is delivered, and the ecstatic dad discovers his "major award" is a fra-jee-lay leg-shaped lamp.

Today I got a letter from my all-time favorite magazine, Games World of Puzzles, saying that I'd won a runner-up prize for one of their monthly contests. I get a Games T-shirt, which I will very proudly wear to the gym and the pool this summer.

(Yes, I know I'm a geek. And I also know that my buddy Paul will be one of the few who can appreciate my major award.)

30-Day Organizational Challenge

One of my favorite blogs is hosting an organizational challenge. We have a month to choose an area of our house and whip it into shape. I need to post before and after pictures showing my organizational progress. So, even though this is even more embarrassing than showing pictures of my minivan, here's what my study looks like today...






It's a good thing I have a whole month, isn't it? Good grief, I better get to work.

Mom My Ride

My nephews love the MTV show called Pimp My Ride. This is a spoof that hits way too close to home.

So now let me take you on a tour of my fine vehicle, a 2000 Honda Odyssey. First, we have the front seat. When we left for church on Sunday, I realized that I had nowhere to sit. Most of this junk is stuff I need to return to stores, plus my Bible Study notes, plus a variety of miscellaneous trash.

So I sat in the backseat, which isn't a whole lot better. Here we have a lovely array of children's papers, coupons, receipts, and yes, a toilet seat. David is in the middle of potty training and a portable toilet seat is a necessity. He has poopy issues.

Now we get to actual damage. This is a shot of the wall in the third row. Apparently my little angels have not only been busy drawing on the wall with green crayon, but they've also been so considerate to peel off the fabric in an effort to Mom My Ride for me.

Finally, the brake light. Yup, my husband taped the brake light back together with clear packing tape. (Granted, when his car got damaged he took care of the estimate and repairs the very next day. But my car got some good old-fashioned packing tape. And let's not even bring up the fact that my oven has been broken for two months now!)

What I can't show you in the photos is the fact that the sliding doors don't open from the inside anymore. They broke awhile back so whenever the kids need to get out of their vehicular prison, I have to get out of the car, walk around to the passenger side, and open the door for them.

So what about your car? Post pictures of it and send me a link so we can all commiserate!

My Little Guy

My little David, who is now 3 years and some change, is my daily source of entertainment. He's at such a wonderful stage of development and has a sense of humor to boot, so we get along just fine. He's learned his alphabet and is convinced that every D he sees is for David. We'll be driving by a Home Depot and he'll shout from the backseat, "That's Home Depot. They have a D for David!" He's also very proud of the fact that he is 3 years old. If we ever use the word "three" in any conversation, he'll quickly say, "Three, like I'm three!"

Today Caelyn was looking on the calendar and said, "This year my birthday's going to be on a Tuesday!" To which David quickly replied, "And my birthday's going to be on a Threesday cuz I'm three!"

The above photo shows David trying to be like his Daddy. We were having chocolate-dipped strawberries and David got a little messy, so we gave him a chocolate goatee. It's a good look, don't you think?

2007 Book List

I'm been trying to keep track of what I have read lately, mostly because my brain is forgetful and sometimes I pick up a book and get 15 pages into it before I realize, hey, I've read this before. I've got an ongoing list over on the right, and I probably won't comment much about what I'm reading. But my latest read with truly amazing. "Proof" is a historical fiction novel about the great revivals in America during 1857-58. Bill Bright and Jack Cavanaugh developed an entire series, and "Proof" is the first in the series.

The plot is a courtroom drama where a father is trying to sue a church for corrupting his daughter because she converted to Christianity. At one point the prosecutor tries to subpeona the Holy Spirit in order to disprove his existence. It's a fascinating plot, but the reason I really loved this book is because it encouraged me to pray earnestly for change. I haven't been affected by a fiction book like this since I read "This Present Darkness" in 1990.

Proof by Bill Bright and Jack Cavanaugh (highly recommended)
Ramona and her Mother by Beverly Cleary
Shopgirl by Steve Martin (NOT recommended)
Ginger Pye by Eleanor Estes
The Last Holiday Concert by Andrew Clements
The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall (highly recommended)
Strawberry Girl by Lois Lensky
Strider by Beverly Cleary (recommended)
Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary (recommended)
All She Ever Wanted by Lynn Austin (recommended)
The Novelist by Angela Hunt

An Egg-straordinary Answer to Prayer

Sometimes God really cracks me up.

Our Sunday school class has an annual Easter outreach at some public housing projects. We always do an egg hunt and last year we noticed that the bigger kids got greedy and the little kids didn't get many eggs. So this year we thought that we should give everyone an egg container so each kid could only collect 12 eggs.

The problem: We didn't have this idea until two weeks before the egg hunt. On Sunday I asked my friends at church if they have any egg containers. Nobody did, and we didn't think we could scramble up 60 egg containers in two weeks. So we decided to scratch that idea and just buy smaller bags.

Then my friend Michelle was driving home after church. Her husband was taking a different route than usual to avoid traffic. Michelle spotted something on the side of the road and shouted for her husband to stop the car. What was there, in clear plastic bags, just waiting for her to find? More than 300 cardboard egg containers. That's my kind of God. Immediate response, abundant giving, and all neatly stacked up in clear plastic bags. You just can't make this stuff up.

Wise Words

The kids and I were talking about television at dinner -- they wanted to watch America's Funniest Home Videos and I vetoed. Out of the blue Kendra said, "When you're watching television, it's like your mind is taking a nap." Amen! It's no wonder that Kendra's name means wisdom.

By the way, Kendra is about 2,400 pages into her goal. She's trying to read 3,000 pages during the school's Read Read Read program. She has until April 4, so she might not make her goal, but she's already exceeded mine. Tonight she told me she wants to write "made-up" stories when she grows up. I encouraged her to write some now, so I'm looking forward to seeing what her creative brain does.

Waste-of-Time Saturday

I really, really don't like amusement parks. (I'm tempted to use the word hate, but that might be too strong.) But here's the rub... my husband thoroughly enjoys amusement parks, Sea World in particular. We have season passes, and last year Kevin took the kids at least once a month to visit Shamu and all his marine buddies. More often than not, I stayed home to do laundry or write articles or do anything other than spend my day at Sea World.

Today, however, I went. My kids really wanted me to come along, and Kevin just got back from a business trip so we hadn't had any family time together. Plus it's Spring Break so we're trying to build some family memories, right? So I went, fairly willingly.

The first three hours were tolerable. The kids love the Shamu rollercoaster, which it a kids' sized verson of a traditional coaster. It's not too thrilling, but the kids love it. And I got a kick out of watching Caelyn raise her hands up and make goofy faces for the camera. Of course, we didn't buy any of the astronomically priced Adventure Photos, but they were funny to look at. It was great to see Caelyn having a blast, when a year ago she cried and refused to get on that same ride.

Then we went to the waterskiing show, which was pretty entertaining. Those people are quite talented and I enjoyed watching them do their skiing tricks. And watching Jessica, who's the "star" skiier in the show, motivated me to hit the gym. You should see the abs on this girl -- they're amazing.

The park was getting crowded, so I went early to secure seats for the Julie Scardina show. Julie Scardina is the animal expert who brings all the fun animals onto The Tonight Show. She had a host of kangaroos, lemurs, alligators, and other creepy-crawly things. I love animals, but it was the exact same thing as last year. And that's where things went downhill for me.

For the next two hours we battled enormous crowds to watch mediocre shows, and I've watched those shows a dozen times already over the last few years. OK, the Viva show was different because the dolphin totally rebelled and wouldn't perform, so they actually had to cancel the show 10 minutes in. Other than that, it was pure drudgery.

The problem with amusement parks is reflected in the name itself. For you non-Latin students out there, the root "muse" means to think, and the root "a" means not. So amusement means your are spending time NOT thinking. And that's not a concept I embrace.

Actually, I was thinking during my time at Sea World today. I was thinking about all the productive things I could have been doing instead. And I was thinking about how much I am dreading our family trip to Orlando this June. (That story is a whole 'nother blog. I'll come back to that trip, I promise.) And I was thinking that I don't want to raise my children to expect to be entertained. Tomorrow's going to be a non-TV, non-amusement, non-non-thinking kind of day.

Not That I'm Obsessed or Anything

Only four months and 11 days left until I can read the final installment of Harry Potter. Yes, I'm a huge fan of Harry. Someday I'll spend some time articulating why I think JK Rowling is brilliant and why Christians should not avoid or condemn the Harry books. (I said books, not movies. I can't stand the movies.) But for now, I'll tick off the seconds until I get to read the final 800+ pages of this wonderful series.

Works-for-me Wednesday

Tonight was one of those rare evenings when the kids had finished dinner early, gotten on their PJs, and we still had a good hour before bedtime. I was washing dishes and noticed how grimy the floor looked. So I grabbed a dry-erase marker and began writing letters on my kitchen floor.

I called the girls downstairs, handed each of them a Lysol-covered sponge and a rag, and told them the rules of the game. When I said "Go," each of them had to find the letters in their name, in order. They had to clean off the letter (thus cleaning that tile), dry the tile, and then move on to the next letter.

It took less than 90 seconds and my floor looked remarkably better. Even more surprising, they had so much fun that David started to cry because he felt left out. So Kendra wrote the ABCs on 26 tiles that hadn't been cleaned yet and we cheered David on as he sought out letters and wiped them clean.

By the way, credit for this idea should go to Trish Kuffner and her wonderful The Preschooler's Busy Book.

And I Thought My Wedding Video Was Bad...

Reason #993 why Michael Jackson is a negative influence on American Society.

Some of my friends know this tidbit about me. When I see people performing and I'm embarrassed for them, I start to tear up. I've cried at church, cried watching Young Life skits, cried watching the Gong Show. If I were actually at this wedding, I would have been bawling with embarrassment tears.

I've been licked by a zebra.

And here's the photographic proof. On Saturday the in-laws treated our family to a few hilarious hours at the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch. It's a drive-thru "safari" where you can roll down the windows and feed the animals. I asked Kevin to get a picture of me with a zebra in the background, but my jokester father-in-law held up a food pellet right by my head. Kevin captured my expression just as the zebra huffed and licked me in it's quest for the pellet. I named this one Hally Tosis for his rather offensive breath.



We also were highly entertained by the ostriches, which were rather aggressive and actually pecked at our windows begging for food. This is Buckbeak. Again, I retain the right to name any animal that breathes on me.

The ABC's of Homemaking

I've really been struggling with feeling like a maid lately. It seems that my entire existence consists of cleaning, laundry, cooking, and stain removal of all kinds. I'm no domestic diva, but I thought I would share my insights and opinions about housekeeping. Thanks to More Cowbell for the idea.

Aprons? - I have quite a collection, but I never wear them. I'm actually a rather neat cook unless I'm dealing with chocolate. But I do have a favorite apron. Kendra made it at preschool and it proclaims that I am, indeed, the world's greatest mommy.

Baking? - I love to bake. I'm a super-geeky baker. I actually weigh my flour for certain recipes because it's so much more accurate than scooping.

Clothesline? - Not a clothesline, per se, but I do drip dry several blouses, sweaters, and other unmentionables. I would never hang clothes outside, though, because with my luck a bird would poop on them.

Dusting? - I'm a little neurotic about dusting. I love my microfiber cloths and use those to quick dust. I use damp rags on the blinds and most of the furniture. I use every attachment on the vacuum to dust behind furniture. I really like to dust.

Everyday - One homemaking thing you do everyday? - Wash dishes. That's pretty much it. I don't make my bed every day. I don't do laundry every day. Heck, I don't even shower every day. But dishes? They're neverending.

Freezer - Do you have a separate deep freezer? - Not a deep freezer, but we have a second fridge in the garage. It doesn't work very well so I try to not keep much in it! Things tends to melt slightly and then refreeze. Not very safe, but nobody's gotten food poisoning yet!

Garbage Disposal? - Yes! I take great joy in shoving things down the disposal. Today I made key lime tarts and I happily put the rinds of 5 limes down there. My sink smelled yummy.

Handbook? - A handbook for what? Cleaning? Not really, although I've read Queen of Clean and a few other "housewife" type books. A handbook for parenting? Tons, but we've yet to decide which route we're actually on. A handbook for life in general? That would be the Bible, my friends.

Ironing? - I try to save it for my mom, who loves to iron. She lives 1400 miles away and visits twice a year. And that's pretty much how often things get ironed around here. The only exception is if I'm sewing something. Then I'll iron a seam or hem.

Junk Drawer? - I abhor junk. I have neatly organized drawers that house a variety of things, but I refuse to have any junk in the house. Drives me nuts to own things that don't have an assigned purpose.

Kitchen - Design and decorating? - The walls are Builders Beige, just like the rest of the house (although we're painting in the near future). My decorating is seasonal, and I try to change the accessories based on the weather. I have summer dishes and winter dishes that go with the summer chair pads and winter chair pads. And that's my extent of decorating.

Love - What is your favorite part of homemaking? - I love a clean house, but I can't say I actually love any aspect of homemaking. I'm an organizational freak, but that's more of an obsessive/compulsive thing than an act of love.

Mopping? - I do not mop; I FloorMate. Mopping is gross since you're just wetting the dirt and moving it around. But FloorMating? (Yes, it's a verb.) That actually sucks up the dirty floor water! It's brilliant! OK, maybe this is what I love -- the joy of pouring out the dirty FloorMate water and knowing that all that filth is no longer on my floors.
Kevin mops, by the way. We have a loose agreement that I handle everything from the ankles up, and he handles everything ankles down. He loves to vacuum and he mops almost every week. And, God bless him, he actually dries the floors with a towel.

Nylons - Wash by hand or in the washer? - Nylons? Can't say I've worn them since our wedding. I'm exaggerating, of course, but the last time I went to put on nylons I found that they were all so old that the elastic was shot in every single pair. And I hadn't even opened the boxes on most of them! When I do wash the occasional pair of Spanx, I use a lingerie bag in the washer and then let them drip dry.

Oven - Do you use the window or open it to check? - Open to check. The window is so filthy that it is hardly an accurate gauge on how the food is cooking. Of course, my oven isn't even working properly right now. Every night is a crap shoot on whether I'll cook something edible. Tonight's dinner didn't fare so well. I really need a new oven. If you'd like to donate to my oven fund, I accept Paypal.

Products - What cleaning products do you use? - I've got quite a list of favorite products. Best invention of the decade, hands down, is Lysol Wipes. I prefer them to Clorox Wipes which leave a sticky residue. But I use Lysol Wipes all over the bathroom, kitchen, and even to shine my shoes. Best invention of the 90s would have to be OxiClean. Man, that stuff is amazing.
Other products I can't live without? Comet or Ajax with bleach for the sink. Cascade powder with lemon. Sno-Bol. Mr. Clean erasing sponges for the walls. Scrubby sponges (the gentle kind) for my kitchen counters and dishes. Windex. Lysol for the counters and floors. Dawn dishwashing detergent. Liquid Tide with bleach alternative. I'm very loyal to my brands! No generic cleaners for me.

Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? - Check my email or waste time online. That's during the day. At night I read or do logic puzzles.

Recipe card box? - I have a three-ring binder. I have a template on my computer for recipes so I can format them and print them out. Then they go into my binder in a plastic protective cover. Did I mention that I'm obsessive/compulsive?
I also have a fairly large collection of cookbooks. The two I can't live without are the America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook, which is 1200 pages long, and my good ole' Better Homes and Gardens cookbook with the traditional red cover. I'm a fan of Ina Garten's Barefoot Contessa cookbooks and the supersized Southern Living cookbook, too. My biggest disappointment has been all my crock-pot cookbooks. I've never found a crock-pot recipe that I really love.

Style of house? - Kind of colonial. Two story red-brick with big white columns. It doesn't match the neighborhood, but we sure like it.

Tablecloths and napkins? - With three small kids? We use vinyl tablecloths even though I think they're tacky. And cheap paper napkins, but I'll break out the good paper napkins for company.

Under the kitchen sink? - A whole lot of cleaning supplies and two huge boxes of Latex gloves. I can't stand to touch raw meat, so I wear gloves when I make hamburgers.

Vacuum - How many times a week? Usually just once, sometimes twice. Kevin vacuums 90 percent of the time. I try not to look down very often.

Wash - How many loads do you do a week? - I don't count. It's a neverending, continual thing. Maybe eight loads a week? I truly don't know.

X's - Do you keep a list of things to do and cross them off? - Only lists of errands and things to buy. I don't keep a to-do list of household tasks because that would just add to my stress level.

Yard - Who does what? - I am absolutely, positively NOT allowed to touch Kevin's lawn mower. It was in our pre-nup. My extend of yard work consists of occasionally watering the potted plants and trees. And sometimes I remember to fertilize the potted plants, but only when they look really bad.

ZZZ's - What is your last homemaking task for the day? Does throwing my clothes on the bathroom floor count? Honestly, I pretty much shut down after the kids are in bed. I try not to do housework at night, so making dinner is usually the last job of the day for me. I don't even do the dishes at night. The clattering bothers me after a long day, and I like working in a sunny kitchen so I usually do dishes in the morning.

Hey, It's Franklin

It's Saturday and the kids and I have been cleaning house all day. Kendra opened the front door to go get the mail, and suddenly I heard shrieks. I ran to the front door as Kendra was screaming, "There's a turtle!" Shore 'nuf, there was a turtle on our front porch, just wandering aimlessly in a Grapes of Wrath kind of way.
The million dollar question: Is it somebody's pet or is it wild? We live in an awfully dry, rocky part of town, and don't turtles like creeks and wetlands? All I know is that we're not adopting this one. We've made signs to put up at the exits of our neighborhood. Hopefully somebody will claim it. If not, Kevin will be assigned to release the turtle at the closest creek.
If blogs had sound, I would upload the horrifically creepy scratching sound that the turtle's nails are making as he tries to climb out of the cardboard box. I'm getting the willies just thinking about it.