A Random Reading Passage

I have nothing interesting to write about, so I thought I'd share one of my latest reading passages. This one is for the State of Pennsylvania's 3rd grade achievement test, so keep in mind the intended audience is 9 years old.

The Street Vendor

Saturdays are the best. I get to sleep in, and I always wake up to the smell of pancakes. When I finally get up, Daddy’s sitting at the kitchen table. “’Mornin’, sleepyhead,” my Daddy always says. On Saturdays I get to put as much syrup as I want on my flapjacks. Daddy pretends not to notice how my pancakes are drowning. He just winks and sips his coffee.

Later in the day, I have to go to my piano lesson. Daddy holds my hand as we walk through the city. Mrs. Kutz’s studio is seven blocks from our apartment. I have my lesson while my dad read his newspaper. After an hour, Mrs. Kutz always says, “Bravo, Amelia! You are playing nicely!” My dad smiles, folds up his newspaper, and holds out his hand. Arm in arm, we walk home.

My favorite part of Saturday is walking through the city. Sometimes I close my eyes and let Daddy’s hand guide me. When my eyes are closed, I can hear things I don’t usually notice. I can always hear the cars honking and the people shouting. But when my eyes are closed, I notice how the pigeons talk to each other while they sit on the benches. I notice how the bell on Wilson’s Grocery door sounds different than the bell at the hardware store.

Sometimes when I listen real close, I can hear the squeaky wheels on the Hot Dog Man’s cart. The Hot Dog Man is a street vendor. He has a cart on wheels with a big, striped umbrella for shade. He stands next to his cart on the corner and shouts, “Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here!”

Every Saturday on the way home from piano lessons, we stop at the Hot Dog Man’s cart. When the street vendor sees us coming, he stops shouting. He smiles at me and says, “’What’ll it be, little lady?” This seems like a silly question to me. I ask for a hot dog and Daddy gets one too. I like mine plain, but Daddy puts mustard on his. We sit down on a bench and eat our lunch.

One day after eating our hot dogs, I had a thought.

“What’s the Hot Dog Man’s name?” I asked my dad.

“I don’t know, sweetie. Why?”

“Because we talk to him every Saturday, but we don’t know his name,” I said. This bothered me because I know everyone’s name. The boy who delivers the newspaper is Harold. The mail carrier is Anna. I even know the name of the lady who cuts my hair, and I don’t like getting haircuts.

I thought and thought, and finally I decided to find out. I marched right up to the Hot Dog Man. He was yelling, “Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here!” But when he saw me, he leaned over and said, “You still hungry, little lady?”

I took a deep breath and asked, “What’s your name?” The Hot Dog Man looked surprised. He raised his eyebrows, and then he burst out laughing. Finally, he shook my hand and said, “The name’s Gary, little lady.” I smiled and ran back to Daddy.

We still see the Hot Dog Man every Saturday. We always buy two hot dogs, and we always sit on the bench to eat them. The street vendor still calls me “little lady.” But now, I can say, “Thank you, Gary,” when he hands me my hot dog. Then Gary always winks at me, like we have a secret.

An April Fool's Anniversary

Today is the 13th anniversary of Kevin's and my first date. We were working at the Trinitonian, our college newspaper, and I was pasting down an ad for AMC Theatres. (On a side note, I really miss that old wax machine that we used to paste down the galleys. The melted wax smelled so good! But, I digress...) I was bemoaning to my coworker Lisa that I hadn't been to a movie in ages, and Kevin pipes up, "Yeah, we should go to a movie sometime." I didn't really think he was asking me out, so I didn't exactly respond. I just finished up my work and went back to my dorm room.

A couple hours later, Kevin called and officially asked if I would see a movie with him that night. I was a little surprised, and I said I already had plans with my suitemate. Kevin sounded rather crushed and I felt sorry for him, so I said I could cancel my other plans. He said he'd come pick me up after his Catholic Student Group meeting, around 8 p.m. he thought.

Kevin called after 8 to say his meeting was running extremely long. He said he'd get there as soon as he could. I think he finally showed up sometime after 10, maybe closer to 11. I was annoyed, but again, I felt sorry for him. We ended up watching "Sneakers" in my room sitting on the floor. It was hardly what I call a date, and I certainly wasn't overwhelmed with affection and admiration for Kevin at the time! Still, that's the story of our beginnings. The fact that it was on April Fool's Day is just an ironic symbol of our entire relationship since, I think!

Fallout from the Doctor's Visit

It seems Caelyn and David picked up a virus from their visit to the doctor last Friday. Both of them were up last night urping. It was a loooong night! Looks like it's gonna be a laundry day.

When she wasn't shrieking, Caelyn actually had a great attitude during her sickness. Favorite quote after one urpy episode: "At least it didn't get in my nose that time!"

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my 35th birthday, a minor milestone. Kevin surprised me with a new laptop computer, something I've always wanted. Now I can write my articles while reclining on the couch -- yippee! At church I had to teach the 3-year-old kids, so my adult Sunday school class serenaded me in the hallway. I've never cared for the Happy Birthday song, but I enjoyed having my friends sing to me. And last night Kevin surprised me again by having the Thomases join us for a scrumptious dinner at The Vineyards, one of our favorite restaurants. All in all, a very joyous birthday! And happy birthday to Martin Thomas, whose birthday is today.

David stuck a bead up his nose

If I had written about little David a week ago, I would have bragged about how well David is developing. He's had a language explosion and his vocabulary is increasing daily. He's no longer having separation anxiety about going into his nursery room at church. And, even though he's just 2 and a few months, he can already identify five or six colors. But, today I get to share about my goofball son who had to get a bead extracted from his nose on Friday.

Kendra and David were watching TV on Friday morning when David started crying about how his nose hurt. Kendra thought he might have a neener (our word for booger), so I tried to help him out. David started having a fit whenever I touched his nose. I thought he might have something stuck up there, but I couldn't get him to sit still long enough to find out. Eventually his shrieks of "No Mommy!" made me decide that traumatizing him wasn't a good idea.

Three hours later, we're at Chick-fil-A some friends having lunch. I mentioned to Kim Lewis that David had a nose problem that morning. Sweet Kim, who is a nurse, coaxed David into looking up at the ceiling. Kim took a quick peek up his nostril and announced that something purple was indeed up there. I got on the cell phone and (laughing) called the doctor who said to come in after lunch. Why rush? It had already been up there for nearly four hours.

It took three people to wrestle David to the exam table. The nurse held his arms over his head, I pinned his legs down, and Dr. Howelton leaned over his torso while holding some rather long needlenose pliers. It only took 30 seconds of blood-curdling screams before Dr. Howelton presented me with a damp purple bead. And in typical Dr. Howelton fashion, she dryly says to Caelyn, "Do you want to put that bead on your necklace?"

Apparently shoving objects into facial orifices is a rather common childhood experiment. The nurse said someone else had called about it the day before, but the child eventually snorted it up and coughed it out -- ew! My parents once had to get several peas out of my sister Jamie's nose. She didn't want to eat them and her nose seemed like the most logical place for disposal. I'm just hoping David remembers not to do that again.

Yesterday's Irony

Yesterday I was running errands and I remembered to pray for my friend Amy who wants to stop watching TV at night. I asked God give her the self-discipline not to turn the TV on and to bless her with some special family time.

The irony: Last night I wasted three hours watching TV. Kevin had a meeting at church and then had to deal with a broken-down car (another story), so I turned on the TV for company. Three hours later, I had TiVoed my way through two episodes of American Idol, an episode of Dinner for Five, and some other show that I can't even remember right now. Entertaining, yes, but a complete waste of time.

My name is Chelsea, and I'm a TVaholic.

Not My Home

A brief conversation with Kendra after I did a basic-training class at the gym...

Kendra: Why do you work out at the gym?
Me: So I can be healthy and strong and live a long time.
Kendra: Why? I thought you just wanted to get to heaven and be with Jesus.

I Feel Smart Today

For those who know me, it's no surprise that I'm a total geek and love puzzles. Not jigsaw, but word and logic puzzles. I subscribe to not one, but two uber-nerdy puzzle magazines — Games and Games World of Puzzles. Each month I get happy when the very nice postlady brings me a new puzzle magazine.

Games has monthly contests which are always incredibly difficult. There's no answer key, and if you can solve the puzzle you can submit a postcard with the solution to be entered into a drawing for $500. I feel smart today because I actually solved the monthly contest BY MYSELF and a little help from my American Heritage dictionary. I'd tell you the answer, but that would lessen my odds for winning.

Like I said, I'm a geek. But if I win, I'll be a geek with an extra $500.

Yoga Free Verse

open the chest open the mind
try not to giggle at panpipe music
forward bend feel the stretch
down dog feel the headrush
chaturanga fancy name for pushup
can't do a pushup fall to the ground
up dog or cobra what's the difference?
warrior pose balance on weak ankles
arms are numbing tingling
like an endurance challenge on survivor
warrior two more like ballet
angle the arms pretend it's drill team
20 minutes later finally getting the rhythm
grab a towel stretch your legs
discover that legs are freakishly long
can't balance can't focus try not to giggle
instructor says lie down amen! amen!
stretch out hamstrings feel the burn
tilt leg left stranger's foot is near face
resist the urge to tickle stranger's bare feet
lotus position are we supposed to meditate?
straighten spine feel taller
next day feel pain

Invisibles

This is just for sheer fun. At Thanksgiving my brother-in-law showed me some of these Invisibles on his laptop. Here's the idea: These are scenes from films, but the people's faces and other body parts have been digitally removed. You have to figure out which movie the scene is from. Highly entertaining, even if you aren't the biggest filmgoer.

http://www.filmwise.com/invisibles/index.shtml

Kendra, my little Holy Spirit

The scenario: It's after dinner and the kids and I are playing a round of Disney Candy Land. Everyone is happy, we're all taking turns, and even David is enjoying the action. Then Kendra picks the card that sends her back to Cinderella's Glass Slipper, which is at the beginning of the board. She throws a fit saying she's going to lose and she's quitting, and then she crawls off and hides behind the rocking chair.

My reponse: I thoroughly raise my voice and chastise her. I tell her that you don't quit just because you're losing, and the whole point is just to have fun spending time with your family. (The irony meter was inching higher at that statement.) I tell her that she's not quitting, she will come back and finish the game, and I threaten her with a loss of priveleges if she doesn't obey. Kendra returns and sullenly plays with us.

A few minutes later, Kendra asks this: "Mama, how come you're nicer to everyone else than you are to your own family?"

Ouch.

Thankfully, I didn't react in anger, which would have only emphasized her point. But it's true, I am nicer to my friends, to strangers, and sometimes to random solicitors on the phone than I am to my own kids and Kevin. I tried to explain to Kendra that I get frustrated because I expect my kids to obey, to treat each other kindly, etc. When you don't act the way I expect, I said, I sometimes (often) get upset and angry and shrill. I pointed out that she's often nicer to her friends than to her sister and brother, too.

The sad thing is, we were having a much better day today than the last few weeks! We laughed more, baked a batch of Easy Bake Oven cookies, played outside in the sunshine, and I didn't lose it and scream like a banshee once. There was a lot of correcting, but apparently Kendra wants me to be a whole lot nicer about it. Honestly, I'm not sure I can be a full-time nice mom and train my kids well. Something to think on/pray about.

My New Year's Philosophy

Here we go . . . I've officially succumbed to peer pressure and have become a blogger. Paul Soupiset's been pestering me for some time now to blog, and my main argument was that I didn't want people to be privy to what goes on inside my head. But as my dear friend Christi Grooters once told me, people already know that I'm crazy.

I'm not a big proponent of New Year's resolutions, but this is what I've been thinking about lately. I spent December doing things that people expected me to. Did I really want to write a Christmas newsletter and send out cards? Not so much, but certain people would be upset if they didn't get a card. Did I really want to sew four donkey costumes for Caelyn's Christmas pageant? Again, no, but I did it because I want her teacher to think I'm a good mom and because I was the only mom with a sewing machine. Instead of enjoying the celebration of my Savior's birth, I spent December trying to fulfill an imaginary quota of good deeds.

As a result, I've decided that I'm only going to do what I really want to do this year. I may falter, but I'm not going to let guilt or unrealistic expectations force me into making the same poor decisions that I did last year. The key question is: How do I want to spend my time this year? Writing more? Probably. Reading more? Always. Shopping more? Ew.

One thing's for sure: I definitely want to focus more on eternal things and not foolishly waste my time. Which means no more Pengapop on Kewlbox.com. Oh, and I want to have an ongoing book review section.

By the way, this wasn't my first choice for a blog name. Typography was taken, as was CaivanoFamily. That really surprised me, as there aren't that many Caivanos around. So I settled on CraftyCassie, which is my eBay name. My college nickname was Cassie (based on my maiden name initials), and I'm crafty, so there you have it. Not too original, but I didn't feel like spending hours trying to think of the perfect name. Perfection is overrated.

Happy New Year to my friends and family. I love you all!