craftycassie

Looking for Me?

2008-06-20T16:19:00.005-05:00

Hey y'all, I'm over here now. I've been wanting a newly designed blog for some time now, and this is where the crazy is.

This blog will still be active, but I'm going to limit it to, you know, crafts and stuff. The wild and wacky stuff will be over here.

You Asked, I Answer, Part Two

2008-06-17T15:12:00.002-05:00

A while back I volunteered to answer any question asked of me. I've officially run out of material so I'm returning to the questions...

Dear friend Stephanie asked, "So Chels...what would you love to see going on in your family and your life 10 years from now?"

What would I love to see going on in 10 years? The simple answer is that I want us to all be healthy and happy, a strong family unit whose love for Christ and each other is evident to everyone we meet.

That's the easy answer, but since this is my fantasy...

Kevin and I will be planning our 25th anniversary trip to Italy in 2019. We're going to explore Rome where I can translate all the Latin sayings for my uncultured but interested husband. We'll rent a car and drive to Tuscany and Florence and maybe Venice, although I've heard that city is overrated. We'll stop by the town of Caivano outside Naples and take a couple pictures of the signs as a memoir of his family's heritage. He'll present me with a fabulous pair of diamond earrings at some point during the trip.

I'd love to see Kendra heading off to college on a full scholarship, either for academics or softball. (She'd prefer softball, I'm sure.) Currently I think Baylor is a good choice, but we'll entertain offers from other Texas schools with solid reputations, strong Christian organizations, and a small-enough environment that Kendra won't feel overwhelmed or lost.

I'd love for Caelyn to be happily getting ready for her senior year at SACS. She'll have a gaggle of boys interested in her, I'm sure, but she'll prefer to hang out with her family and a sweet group of girlfriends. And by that time she'll be proficient enough in the kitchen that she'll be volunteering to cook dinner at least once a week. At this point she'll be debating whether to attend a four-year college or culinary school. She'll also go on a missionary trip this summer and I'll get to be one of the group's chaperones.

David will be getting ready to enter high school. He'll be playing junior varsity baseball or basketball. He'll still love his mommy best and will spontaneously give me hugs and "big juicies" on the cheek. He'll be handling the change from boy to man with grace and confidence.

Kevin will still be working somewhere -- either USAA or another firm -- as a tax accountant. He'll be happy and have hard-working coworkers who do their fair share of the workload and will appreciate Kevin's quiet management style.

Oh, and since this is my fantasy, I'll be all caught up on scrapbooking and will have a bookshelf full of wonderfully designed photo albums celebrating our family's highs and lows. And I'll be a size 8 with skinny ankles.

And we'll have a pool with a waterfall feature.

It's my fantasy, right?

deep thoughts with craftycassie

2008-06-12T22:48:00.003-05:00

1. Have you ever noticed that pharmaceutical companies have an unusual fondness for the letters V, X, Y, and Z? Viagra. Vioxx. Valium. Xanax. Yaz. Prozac. Vicodin. Zyrtec. Zantac. Zoloft.
Did the companies feel sorry for those lonely letters at the end of the alphabet? Do those particular letters subliminally convey trustworthiness or health? Marketing fascinates me.

2. Here's a tip: Taking three young children to lunch at Luby's without another adult to help you is an extremely bad idea. The kids were overwhelmed by the cafeteria-style ordering. They had trouble choosing what they wanted and slowed up the line. The geriatric crowd behind us was most displeased with my family, especially when my kids realized they forgot to get their Jello cups and I had to go back in line, grab three overflowing cups of cherry Jello, inevitably spill a little on the floor, and then fight my way back to the front of the line to help my kids with their trays. A very kind employee helped me carry the kids' trays to the table, where I then realized that I HAD FORGOTTEN TO GET MYSELF ANY FOOD. I went back and grabbed a salad with a side of Valium.

3. I had a mystery shop today at a certain coffee chain that I don't particularly enjoy because they overroast their beans and their ridiculously priced coffee represents everything I abhor about American consumerism. But hey, it was a job. So is it bad that I let my four- and seven-year-old drink most of my oversweetened, overcaffeinated, overpriced drink? I mean, why not feed their addictions early?

4. Lastly, does anyone out there actually own a Sleep Number bed? Do you like it? Is it worth the money? My back is killing me and I'm in the market for a new bed that will make both Kevin and me happy. Kevin likes to sleep on the floor, so he prefers a rock-hard mattress. I can't stand a mattress that sags, but I also want some cushyness to cradle my spine. I'm thinking a Sleep Number will solve many problems, but I'm concerned it's just a glorified, marked-up Aerobed.

Kids + Strep = TV

2008-06-08T09:43:00.003-05:00

A couple days ago I was going to lay down the law and keep my kids from the TV in an attempt to foster their creativity.

It was a grand idea with an even grander demise.

We spent Friday morning at the pediatrician's office confirming my suspicions that Kendra has strep throat. Here were my clues: Kendra told me multiple times that her throat was ON FIRE. And she had a fever. And she had a monster headache that wouldn't go away. And she TOOK A NAP on Thursday afternoon. I don't think that child has napped since 2001.

Kendra felt somewhat better upon hearing the diagnosis, because at least she knew her non-merciful mother was actually trying to take care of her. And she felt remarkably better after popping a few horse-sized doses of Amoxicillin.

So Mommy showed mercy by letting her watch Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses.

Now it's Sunday morning and Caelyn is feeling poorly, too. No fever, but she woke us up in the middle of the night and said her throat hurt. I'm debating whether I should take her to the extremely kid-friendly weekend pediatric clinic that hands out popsicles or whether I should just wait until tomorrow and try to get into our regular doctor for the strep test. I'm fairly certain Caelyn will have strep, too, considering she and Kendra shared a drink on Thursday.

Caelyn and I stayed home from church and she's lying in a pathetic heap on the couch watching Fetch with Ruff Ruffman. Apparently my TV experiment was doomed from the start. I'll try again when everyone's healthy.

Is Summer Over Yet?

2008-06-06T08:51:00.004-05:00

The kids have been home from school for a grand total of six days, not including the weekend since I kind of expect them to be around on those days anyway. Six days of non-stop chatter, attention-begging, "Mama-can-you-play-go-fish-with-me?" behavior. Your typical kid stuff.

I've also been the nice mom and let them watch more than their fair share of TV. They inaugurated the first day of vacation by watching "High School Musical 2." (Incidentally, whenever someone asks me what time it is, I automatically break out into the song from HSM2. I just can't help it.)

They've watched endless hours of Tom & Jerry, Handy Manny, Safety Patrol, and Fetch with Ruff Ruffman. OK, I've watched that show too. I love that show. It's the modern-day version of Zoom.

No more. Mean Mom is back in town and today the TV is staying off. Today they will read, darn it. Today they will be forced to interact with each other in a way that doesn't involve fighting over the Tivo remote. Today they will prance joyfully in our backyard with rainbows and hummingbirds. Wait, that last part might not happen.

At the very least, today I'm going to force them to DEAL WITH THEIR BOREDOM. I've decided not to play camp counselor and schedule every moment of their day. I'm not going to say, "Hey, let's stamp cards!" or bow down to their demands to play Mousetrap for the b'jillionth time.

Today I'm going to force them to get creative.

It's an experiment, if you will. We'll see if anyone survives. If I don't post again soon, you'll know I've been overcome by two pint-sized kiddos and their lanky older sister. Or else I'm hiding in MY room watching Fetch with Ruff Ruffman while ignoring the antics of my kids. Not like that's ever happened before.

Like I said, it's an experiment. Let's see who can last longer -- mom or the kids.

Wow Hits Giveaway

2008-06-05T15:03:00.003-05:00

I've spent the last two days attempting to figure out my kids' new MP3 players. (Kudos to Aunt Jamie for finally sending the Christmas gifts. In May. I love that.)

Here's what I've learned about me and technology: We're not compatible. Unless it comes with step-by-step instructions complete with actual photos of idiots like me trying to navigate the websites, I can't figure out modern technology. Incidentally, if somebody wants to have mercy on my girls and explain to me how I can load music onto their Zen MP3 players, they'd be most grateful.

But that's not my point here. My point is that I'm completely happy listening to CDs on my Discman or Bose stereo (but not in my car, because the CD player broke). Like all things, I'm a decade behind the rest of the world. I like the CD. It's easy. It's comfortable. It comes with lyrics.

So I was pretty excited when Shannon over at Rocks in my Dryer announced yet another giveaway. She's going to share 20 copies of the Wow Hits 1 CD. Just as I'm a fan of the CD, I'm also a fan of Wow Hits. We have several of the yearly compilations plus the Wow Worship CD. (My 7-year-old is reading over my shoulder and just said, "Oh, I love Wow Worship. Can I turn it on?" How's that for an endorsement?) Oh, and Shannon's also throwing in a box set of SEVENTEEN other CDs, including Casting Crown's The Altar and the Door, which is one of the best albums in history.

Here's hoping I'm one of the lucky ones on the Random Number Generator!

There Go the College Funds...

2008-05-31T17:57:00.008-05:00

The gas station around the corner is now at $3.84 for regular unleaded. Let's see, my Odyssey takes just over 17 gallons, so that's roughly $65 to fill up the tank. And if my minivan gets 22 miles per gallon (on a non-trafficky week), I'm paying just over 17 cents a mile. Which means that I'm paying slightly more than a dollar just to drive six miles.

Six miles.

A trip to the grocery store is eight miles, so there's a buck-fifty in gas right there. A trip to and from church costs just under $4. And Kevin's commute? That's 32 miles roundtrip, so Kevin's paying $4 a day just to go to work. (His car is a little more efficient than mine, thank goodness.)

And now the airlines are trying to nickel-and-dime us on flights. We are heading to St. John in a few weeks for a wedding. We're flying American, which just announced that there is a $15 charge for the first checked bag (per person), and a $25 charge for the second bag. I checked online and found out that we are exempt since our tickets were purchased long before this rule. However, the money crunch has been weighing heavily on me.

The other night I had a dream that gas was up to $5.85. (Maybe it was a vision.) Then I dreamt that I was at the airport trying to check in for a flight to Florida. I had three bags, and the counter person said, "OK, three bags at $100 apiece, plus airport taxes and fees. That'll be $503." The counter person swiped my credit card before I had time to react. I started ranting and raving and throwing a big fit about the outrageous fees, and all the airline employess just smirked at me as if to say, "Yeah, you're getting totally screwed and there's not a thing you can do about it."

That was just a dream, but it sure feels like reality.

The economy always slumps during an election year, but this is just painful. For years I teased Kevin about his penny-pinching ways, but now I'm the queen of coupons and sales. I'm also avoiding going anywhere in the car unless there is an extremely good reason to go. Out of milk? We can wait a couple days. No bread? Use a tortilla. Out of toilet paper? OK, that one actually warrants a trip to the store.

Are there any economy pundits out there who can give me a rational explanation (in layman's terms, please) why I suddenly feel so poor?

Thoughts on the Lost Finale

2008-05-30T14:48:00.007-05:00

Last night I had a choice: Watch the Spurs/Lakers game or watch the Lost finale live. I chose the latter. So instead of seeing my beloved Spurs go down in flames, I had to watch Jin's freighter go up in flames. Brutal both ways. Just brutal.

In no particularly logical order, here are my thoughts and questions regarding the Lost season finale...

1. Why does Richard wear so much eyeliner? That intrigues me far more than the fact that he hasn't aged in 60 years. Did he (Nestor Carbonell) wear so much eyeliner when he was on "Suddenly Susan"? (Updated: Someone has informed me that Nestor Carbonell just has extremely thick, dark eyelashes. Wow. I know many women who would pay big bucks to have such natural markings.)

2. Funniest moment? When Sawyer called Lapidus "Kenny Rogers." I hope somebody compiles a list of all Sawyer's nicknames and one-liners, because they are some of the best parts during a dark episode.

3. I'm thinking that this entire thing is some sort of rich-person's game with Ben and Widmore as the central players. Remember when Hurley was playing Risk and said "Australia is the key to the whole game?" It would fit that this whole show is based around a game where the characters are just pawns. Maybe that's why Ben said "He changed the rules" when Keamy killed Ben's daughter. The game has rules and Widmore (as Ben's opponent) just broke them.

4. Sun's hysterical screaming after watching Jin and the freighter blow up just killed me, y'all. She's a mighty shrill screamer and I got rather choked up. I really don't want Jin to be dead, but then again I didn't want Charlie to die and look what happened there. Of course, dead is a relative term on this show. Hurley's playing chess with an invisible Mr. Eko, but who's to say Eko wasn't really there? Hurley doesn't seem all that insane to me. "Dead" people appear to Hurley and Jack when their consciences are bothering them, I've noticed.

5. I thought it was hilarious when Locke was wandering around the greenhouse looking for the agapanthus-hidden elevator, and when Ben showed up Locke said helplessly, "I didn't know what they looked like!" That was my exact thought when Ben was giving Locke those detailed instructions in the previous episode: "Locke wouldn't know an agapanthus from a daisy." What the heck is an agapanthus? Or was it an anthurium? Either way, Locke's a hunter, not a botanist.

6. Sun said two people were responsible for her husband's death. One of them is her father. Who's the other: Widmore or Jack? I'm thinking Jack. I kind of like the revenge-driven Sun. She's feisty.

7. If I were Locke, I would have given Keamy CPR as long as possible just to keep his heart beating. He knew that the boat would explode once Keamy's heart stopped, so why not pound on his chest forever hoping that his friends got off the boat? I doubt the C4 explosives would have been able to determine whether it was an artificial heartbeat or not just so long as the heart was still pumping.

8. Time-traveling bunnies. Oh writers, you slay me.

9. Is Jeremy Bentham an anagram of some sort? I can understand why Locke is using a pseudonym when he gets off the island, but what's the significance of that particular name? (Updated: I've learned that Jeremy Bentham was a real person, some type of philosopher. I don't do philosophy.)

10. That whole turning-of-the-huge-gear in order to move the island? Totally cheesy. Scenes like that make me wonder why I love this show so much.

That's my two cents. Your thoughts?

My Other Daughter, The Brainiac

2008-05-30T08:09:00.004-05:00

Apparently I underestimated the brainiac-ness of my 7-year-old. I got her scores for the Stanford Achievement Test yesterday.

Reading? Perfect score (130/130)
Spelling? Perfect score (36/36)
Bible Assessment? Perfect score (40/40)
Mathematics? Near perfect score (70/72)

Overall? She's a little brainiac, just like her sister. The only difference is that Caelyn likes to fly under the radar and not make a big show of it. (That's her mom's job. Parental bragging rights, you know.)

My Daughter, the Brainiac

2008-05-27T22:00:00.003-05:00

Today at carpool I stood by my car attempting to shield my eyes from the blinding 97-degree sun. Normally the girls race toward the car as they feel the freedom of that 3 o'clock hour. Today? Through my squinty eyes I could see my girls walking toward the car... slowly... kind of hobbling...

"What's the matter? Do your feet hurt?" I asked Kendra, my eldest.

"No, my backpack's just full."

I reached for her backpack and, KA-THUD!, promptly tore a ligament in my shoulder as the pack plummeted to the asphalt. OK, maybe I just dislocated my shoulder a bit. OK, maybe not. But the backpack was stinking heavy. You get my point.

When we got home 7-year-old Caelyn asked, "Do I have to take my backpack inside? Can I just leave it in the car?" I had mercy on her poor underdeveloped muscles and carried her pink polka-dot pack inside for her. That was my bicep workout for today.

Caelyn quickly darted upstairs, ignoring the contents of her overstuffed bag.

Kendra, on the other hand, said, "Mama, come see all my workbooks."

At this point I realized that the teachers spent today cleaning out the classrooms. There's only one more day of classes before the end-of-year party, so today the teachers had the kids take home all the leftover workbook pages and unfinished curriculum.

Now I'm going to take a wild guess and say that 9 out of 10 kids have already tossed all that paperwork. School's over -- why bother hanging onto worksheets that won't count for a grade?

But my child, you see, is part of the 10 percent that absolutely, positively, totally and completely loves school. She wakes up every morning before 6, is dressed and demanding breakfast by 6:20, and then taps her foot impatiently until Daddy is ready to leave an hour later.

Kendra unzipped her backpack and carefully laid out all her workbooks on the kitchen table. She narrated as she went along and presented each book to me as if she were a model on The Price is Right. Look at these gorgeous workbooks! What's your bid on these fabulous prizes?

I feigned interest. Kendra then spent the next hour ripping out the unfinished pages from her workbooks, making neat little stacks organized by subject. She then -- and this is the part that kills me -- started DOING the worksheets. School is over. Grades are in. But my 8-year-old child has just created her lesson plans for the next six weeks.

Here's the clincher: At one point I looked at Kendra and asked, "Are you going to do all those worksheets?"

"Yes, Mama, and I have two reasons. One, I don't want to waste the pages. And two, I don't think Mrs. Perry gave me enough work this year."

She's an anomaly, she is. A beautiful, brainy anomaly.

I Went to Costco Today

2008-05-22T23:07:00.003-05:00

Can you tell?

So here's my question: How are you all dealing with the rising costs of food? Is it affecting the way you plans meals yet?

The Good, the Bad, and the Smelly

2008-05-21T23:20:00.004-05:00

The Good: Today was one of those interact-with-random-strangers days...

I went to the Lancome counter at Macy's cuz it's free gift time, y'all. Sweet Judy, whom I have never met before, waited on me and in less than five minutes had made my day. She was just full of compliments on my skin tone, hair color, and at one point said, "You're so educated." We were talking about make-up... that proves I'm educated? What I loved most was that Sweet Judy, as she will forever be known in my mind, seemed genuinely surprised when I told her I have three children. God Bless her! She actually asked how old I was when I got married and did a great doubletake when I told her my current age. She was either the best actress/saleswoman ever or she has cataracts. Either way, I just adored her.

(This incident is in stark contrast to the rude woman at the Rolling Oaks Lancome counter who, several years ago, warned me that my crow's feet were "getting out of control." She didn't get any commission from me that day.)

(Oh, and two weeks ago at Kohl's the cashier said, "You're pregnant!" Um, no, apparently I was just wearing a very unflattering shirt.)

I also met a woman named Marcia (Mar-cee-ya, not Mar-sha) today. In a 30-second interaction I learned that she hadn't been sleeping well at night. I shared Psalm 127:2 with her, she shared another scripture with me, and we instantly went from strangers to prayer partners. I prayed for you today, Marcia, just like you asked. Hope you slept well tonight.

Later I was at the stoplight at Nacogdoches and 1604 sucking down my Diet Coke because I hadn't eaten or drinken (that's a word, right?) anything all day and it was at least 120 degrees today. Anyhoo, there was a homeless man at the corner holding up an empty cup. I don't normally do this, but I rolled down my window, flagged him over, and emptied my coin purse into his cup. I asked him where he was sleeping at night and this man proceeded to tell me about his tent and mattress and "kitchen set," which could mean anything from a hot plate to a flask, I suppose. The light changed and I was forced to cut our conversation short, but I actually enjoyed talking to this homeless stranger.

My gut tells me that this man will likely drink away the $1.53 I gave him, but I honestly don't care. When the Bible talks about giving to the poor, I have yet to find a clause that says "Give to the poor unless you think they are drunks" or "Give only to the people who are trying to get into a halfway house." As far as I've read the Scriptures, it just says to give. Granted, giving to a bedraggled homeless guy on the corner might not be the wisest use of God's resources, but somehow I felt led to give to that man today and I'm glad I did.

The Bad: The Spurs choked. Badly. I just cannot believe they blew a 20-point lead.

Also, the nanny around the corner stopped me at preschool this morning to tell me their house had been broken into yesterday. The thieves broke down the back door and managed to get just about everything of value. This event is not going to help my fear issues.

The Smelly: I ran a load in the dishwasher tonight, and 10 minutes ago I got a whiff of the distinct smell of burning plastic. Using my remarkable bloodhound skills I quickly determined that the dishwasher was the source. I opened the dishwasher and -- poof! -- was immediately enveloped in stinky smoke. A tupperware lid had falled through the racks onto the heating element and now the stench of burning plastic is making my eyes burn. Guess I'll open the windows tonight.

Poor Kevin is stuck in Dallas right now, but at least the cavalry is headed home. Too bad he's coming home to a stinky house.

The Hubs, He's Good

2008-05-20T20:40:00.002-05:00

Kevin's off on another business trip, this time to Portland, Oregon. He was home for 36 hours this weekend before hopping on another germ-infested plane headed for the opposite coast he visited last week. I'm here holding down the fort, and here's what I've learned over the last week: I never, ever want to be a single parent.

I have the utmost respect for moms and dads who are raising children by themselves. Getting up at the crack of dawn, fixing breakfast, packing lunches, running carpool, running like crazy to get it all done before the afternoon carpool, homework, dinner, baths, bedtime. I'm bloody exhausted and the house is a disaster.

When Kevin's home he's the one to get up with the girls and fix breakfast. I usually roll out of bed by 7 to brush their hair before school. Kevin takes them to school, so I usually have semi-leisurely mornings or I have time to hit the gym. This week I haven't figured out how to fit a workout into all this other craziness. And let's now forget that I don't even have a job right now. Real single parents are trying to have a career in addition to raising their children. I'm blessed to have a husband who works extremely hard so I can be a fulltime mom.

Kevin also blessed me this week by writing me a letter while he was in New Jersey. I got it yesterday and have read it several times since. I love a good love letter. I won't tell you what he said because Kevin would probably be embarrassed. All I can say is that it was two pages of affirmation that warmed by heart and made me smile.

The hubs, he's good. I can't wait for him to come home again.

100 Things I've Learned the Hard Way (#1-10)

2008-05-16T20:25:00.003-05:00

#1. Waiting until 10 p.m. to start writing an essay when the paper is due the next morning is not a good idea. Especially when the essay is on your college application. Sometime around 3 a.m. you will be sitting, bleary-eyed, over your Apple IIc and think you have just written the most brilliant sentence ever to come out of a dot matrix printer. Hours or days later you will re-read your essay and realize that you wrote something resembling the logic of a two-year-old at naptime. (Oh, and you won't get into that college, but you will get into a lesser college and repeatedly wait until the last minute to write papers. And you'll rationalize it by saying you work better under pressure. You don't.)

#2. Never buy jeans on eBay. It doesn't matter if this is the exact same brand and style you always wear -- there is something wrong with those jeans and they will not fit, even if they are NWT (that would be New With Tag for the novices). And it pains me to say that some unscrupulous people will attach tags to a worn pair of jeans and try to pass them off as NWT even though these are last year's style.

#3. High-waisted, tapered leg jeans are neither flattering nor fashionable. Especially when paired with a cardigan and Birkenstocks with raglan socks. Oh, I shudder over those photos.

#4. When you are pregnant and suffering from morning sickness, it is not a good idea to eat scrambled eggs and then attempt to brush your teeth soon after.

#5. If the oven timer dings but the food is not quite done, SET THE TIMER AGAIN. Otherwise you will most likely forget about the food until you smell smoke or see spurting flames.

#6. Your parents do, in fact, know more than you do. Maybe not in everything, but as a whole, more.

#7. It is a rare person who has naturally well-shaped eyebrows. I am not one of those people.

#8. Tweezerman tweezers are the only tweezers worth buying.

#9. Matching your eyeshadow to your clothing is not wise, especially if your high school cheerleading outfits are purple. You will look like Barney with a black eye.

#10. Your children will repeat the exact word you wish you hadn't just said. When they're two.

My Brown Eyes are Looking Green Tonight

2008-05-14T20:18:00.004-05:00

This morning Kevin hopped a plane to New York for some kind of business trip. Reminder: He's an accountant, so the business part of the business trip is a definite YAWN. But, this afternoon he called me from the American Girl store in the middle of Manhattan, and my eyes immediately changed from brown to green.

Jealous? Yup, just a little.

My day consisted of painting the huge wooden Wheel of Wow for Caelyn's Webkinz party on Saturday, running a bunch of errands, burning a batch of cupcakes, going back to the store for a second box of cupcake mix, and laundry/dinner/dishes. Basically, I was a full-time mom to the fullest definition.

But when Hubs called me from Manhattan, my heart wished I was there with him. NYC is a part of our history... we got engaged at the top of the Empire State Building in June 1994 and we honeymooned at the Four Seasons in December 1995. We've seen several Broadway plays, eaten at some darn-fine restaurants, and wandered the streets in both 90-degree weather and in the middle of a blizzard.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not sad that I'm here doing all my motherly duties. Tomorrow is Caelyn's birthday and I've got PLANS, I tell you. She's going to have a great day if I can drag myself out of bed on time. I wouldn't want to miss her birthday, and I know Kevin is sad that he's missing it.

But on the other hand, I wish I was with Kevin right now watching Wicked or whatever other show we got tickets for. I wish we had reservations at One if By Land, Two if By Sea. I wish we could go book-browsing at The Strand and go back to the spot where Kevin proposed.

Here's my consolation: Kevin's not actually staying in NYC. He was just driving through on his way to Warren, NEW JERSEY, a place that doesn't have any emotional hold on me at all. So there, I feel slightly better now. Now I have to go bake another batch of cupcakes and try not to burn them this time.

Mother's Day Insomnia

2008-05-11T03:30:00.003-05:00

It's somewhere around 3:30 a.m. on Mother's Day, and I've got a pounding headache and can't sleep. Yesterday I volunteered at a Scholastic Book Warehouse sale for four hours so I could earn free books. Here's an important thing to know: Warehouses are not air-conditioned. And it was 101 degrees yesterday. And I had the 1-5 p.m. shift, so I was reshelving books during the hottest part of the day. Still, it was kind of fun and I came home with a big box of books for both the kids and me.

While I was driving home I called the house to see if I needed to pick anything up on the way. Kendra answered the phone and she and I got to have a 5-minute conversation about our days. As she was talking to me I kept thinking, When did she grow up so much? I loved listening to her sweet voice on the phone as she asked me questions about what I did that day and what books I picked out for her. Her inquisitive mind wanted to be able to picture exactly what the warehouse looked like and exactly what I did all afternoon and exactly how many people I talked to. I love that she wants to be so connected to me even though I was only gone for a few hours.

When I got home the kids were in their bathing suits ready to cool off. We hooked up the Slip-n-Slide and then let the kids take turns soaking each other while jumping on the trampoline. While they were splashing and jumping and giggling my heart was filled with the realization that these moments won't last very long. Before I know it they'll be too old for waterplay and silly backyard games. They'll be more interested in friends than family. They'll grow up with lives of their own and won't care as much about how Mommy spent her day.

Please, Lord, help me enjoy this time with my children. It's so fleeting and I don't want to miss it. Please protect my mind from getting so bogged down with laundry and household duties that I can't stop to enjoy my children's questions and their laughter. Amen.

You Asked, I Answer, Part One

2008-05-07T21:35:00.005-05:00

Thanks to the whopping FOUR! people who actually asked a question when I posted this entry. Dang, I really need to up my readership. Or get better friends.

At any rate, here are the questions:

Dana asked: What do you hold as the greatest achievement thus far in your life?

I think my greatest accomplishment is marrying Kevin and sticking with it. (Actually, that's probably his greatest accomplishment because I am NOT an easy person to live with.) My parents had an unhappy marriage, and I didn't ever have great role models in terms of healthy family relationships. I also have a ton of independence issues and have always struggled with the concept of submission in action. I think that's one of the most misconstrued portions of the Bible and I'm just now starting to get it after 12+ years of marriage. It's a process and I'm still learning how to love and receive love.

Then fortyb4forty delurked and asked which I like better, plain or peanut M&Ms?

Peanut, hands down. Some of my friends adore peanut butter M&Ms, and those just make me want to gag. Plain M&Ms are great for baking cookies, but not so much for eating out-of-hand. I recently tried both the Almond M&Ms and the Dark Chocolate M&Ms. Both were OK, but nothing I'll buy twice.

When I was pregnant with Caelyn I ate pounds and pounds of Peanut M&Ms. She's turning 7 next week and I'm still trying to work off those calories.

I'm tired so I'll save the latter two questions for later (sorry Stephanie!). And if you still want to throw a question at me, please do. I love knowing that people actually read this stuff.

A Tale of Three Moms

2008-05-06T22:21:00.004-05:00

Three moms with three kids with an abnormal number of what looked like bugbites, mostly on the arms and legs. One mom thought it might be chicken pox but sent her child to school this week. One mom doubted it was chicken pox and sent her child to school without thinking twice. One mom called a nurse, believed it was chicken pox, and kept her child home from school to give her oatmeal baths and Caladryl treatments.

Which mom was I? The second one. I saw the third mom's child yesterday, and her child and my child looked identical in terms of bites/pox. I still don't think it was chicken pox, but I guess we'll see if an epidemic gets started next week.

Since kids are getting vaccinated -- with boosters -- for chicken pox, has the disease actually changed format? My daughter's marks were scattered on her arms and lower legs (in other words, places where bugs could easily have bitten her). She only had a couple marks on her torso and those were barely noticeable. But chicken pox usually starts on the torso and then spreads outward. At least, that's what mine did when I got chicken pox at the age of 19.

Are there doctors, nurses or seasoned moms out there who can shed some light on what post-vaccinated chicken pox look like?

Blogger Template Help

2008-05-05T08:16:00.003-05:00

I was wasting time on the internet this morning and came across a website that has predesigned templates for Blogger. I was particularly fond of this one, which is green and happy. But then I found THIS one, which features the San Antonio Spurs. And that says it all.

So I tried to copy the code and edit my HTML, which seemed easy enough until I got a warning that all my sidebar widgets would be lost. I had the good sense to stop before I lost all my widgets, but here's my question...

How can I change my template without losing my widgets? HTML code is a mystery to me and if someone could help me learn its nuances I'd love to be able to snazzify my boring layout.

Link Love

2008-05-02T18:42:00.005-05:00

I have a secret: I think this website is absolutely hilarious. Irreverent humor, slightly sacreligious, definitely spot-on. If it weren't true it wouldn't be so stinking funny.

My personal faves of late:
#197. Super spiritual Christmas cards or letters. Over the years I've gotten a couple Christmas letters that were so depressing I felt like all the Merry had been sucked from my Christmas. Truth is good, but a truly horrible year does not have to be documented in detail. If your Christmas letter bears a strong resemblance to the book of Job, maybe it's time to rethink.

#194. Traveling Mercies. This phrase gets used an awful lot during prayer time in my Sunday school class. And now my entire class knows that I am giggling to myself whenever someone says it. Or else I have inappropriate '80s songs running through my head because someone used a word or phrase that triggered a connection to my vast wealth of song lyrics. How many times has "Melt With You" popped into my head because we asked God to stop world wars? (I'll stop the world and melt with you.) My brain, it's not normal.

#181. Preaching an 87-week-long sermon series on a single book in the Bible. Six months in Isaiah. 'Nuf said.

#171. Meticulously, Magnificently Making Multiple Messages Match. So true. I actually like it when my homiletics are alliterative -- I feel like I'm getting a gold star in proper Bible study.

#129. Chick-fil-A. I really do love Chick-fil-A, except for the one worker who can't get my order right when I'm using multiple coupons and upgrading from fries to fruit. And why can't I substitute a side salad for the fries? But other than those petty gripes, Chick-fil-A is the best. Can I get an amen?

History Repeats Itself

2008-05-01T22:53:00.002-05:00

This is why the world keeps having wars - boys can't remember the stupid things they've done before.

This morning I was enjoying some peace with a side of quiet while drying my freshly-colored hair. (L'Oreal Natural Match 5W, for those who need to know. Excellent hair color and I just love knowing that my hair is the exact same color as Selma Hayak's. If only I had her intriguing accent, too.)

But, I digress.

As I was saying, I was using the hair dryer when David appeared and broke one of Mommy's Cardinal Rules: Do not interrupt Mommy when she's drying her hair. That might seem like a silly rule to you, but those 10 minutes under the dryer are the only 10 minutes of guaranteed quiet I get all day.

David knew he was breaking The Rule, so he timidly approached and said, "Mama, I need to tell you something. [Long pause, which we all know means trouble.] "I have a popcorn ball up my nose and it hurts."

Now here's the thing: David is not new to shoving things up his nose. His most famous incident involved a purple bead and a trip to the doctor's office. But it's been a while since he's actually gotten something stuck up there, and I thought my little man might have learned from his prior mistakes.

Apparantly the mistake was mine. David had managed to wedge that popcorn kernel pretty far up his nose. It took several big blows, but the kernel finally shot out of his nose and pelted me on the leg. I debated saving it for his baby book but even I think that's just too gross. Funny, but gross.

Ask Away

2008-05-01T08:06:00.002-05:00

Beth and Carlos have been doing this, so I thought I might try it, too. (The only potential problem is that their readership is about 4 b'jillion, and I have 8 people who read this blog. But anyhoo...)

Ask me anything. I mean ANYTHING. You can ask questions about me, my family, God and the universe, whatever. I'll try my best to answer everything, and if I don't know the answer I'll just make something up and try to sound confident about it. (That's how I got through college and my first few jobs.)

So c'mon all you lurkers and passersby and real-life friends who never comment... Ask Away.

The Woman's Remote

2008-04-28T08:08:00.001-05:00

But where are the laundry buttons?

Thanks to my great friend Christi for sending me this via email.

For more Monday Laughs, visited Absolutely Bananas' blog. She cracks me up.

233

2008-04-24T07:36:00.004-05:00

233. That's the number of questions I was asked yesterday by my children, and this was a day when all three had school. Try to imagine what life is like during summer vacation and they have nothing better to do than pummel me with constant inquisitions.

Here's what the first 20 minutes after school sounded like:

What's for snack? Why did David get a cookie? How many more days until we go camping? Are the Thomases going? Are the McBrooms going? Where are we sleeping? Can I bring a Webkinz? Mama, why can't we go to Sonic today? When can we buy a truck so we can sit in the back? Why can't we buy a truck? How do you know it won't fit in the garage? What do you mean gas is 'spensive? Where do you get your money? Do I have money in the bank? But you don't work, do you? How many more days until I'm a grownup? Why was I born last? Who will be a grownup before me? Who will me my mommy when I'm a grownup? No, I mean your Daddy's mommy, so who will be my mommy? What's a wife?

And so on, and so on, until I thought my head would explode.

My Official Concession Speech

2008-04-22T13:22:00.003-05:00

I didn't win the haiku contest, but I sure did appreciate all the emails and comments telling me that you appreciated my tongue-in-cheek poem about motherhood.

I would officially like to proclaim that my mother was and is not bipolar. She called me, rather concerned, and asked if I actually thought she was a depressive sort of mom when I was growing up. Hardly! My mom has an infectious sense of humor, which she desperately needed raising three girls who were, shall we say, strong-willed?

By the time I was born, my mom already had Brooke, who was then 20 months old, and Jamie, who was just a year older than Brooke. That's right: My mom had three children under the age of 3 -- voluntarily! -- and lived to tell about it. Can you imagine what it was like at our house when all of us were going through puberty at the same time? It's a miracle anyone survived, and my sisters and I did try to kill each other several times over such important things as hairbrushes and Aqua Net. It was the '80s, after all.

However, it is a universal truth that motherhood can make all of us feel crazy at times. Just the other day I screamed at my kids about their ungrateful attitudes regarding dinner, as if yelling about ingratitude would suddenly make them feel grateful. Motherhood brings out the worst in all of us, doesn't it? But on the flip side, we also get to experience some of the absolute sweetest moments ever. My son recently brought me handfuls of weeds that he'd carefully collected during softball practice. With a huge grin he presented me with my "flowers," and I couldn't have loved a dozen roses any more than I loved those weeds.

So here's to motherhood, with all the good and bad. I'd offer you a glass of champagne but it's only 2 o'clock. Then again, as my Grandma Clara used to say, it's 5 o'clock somewhere!

And kudos to Darcie, who has the cutest smile this side of the Pecos!

Book Recommendation

2008-04-21T17:18:00.004-05:00

This is absolutely the best book I've read in years. Just read it. Trust me.

One-Word Meme

2008-04-19T21:16:00.004-05:00

What's a meme, anyway? Hang on while I go look that up on Wikipedia...

Well that didn't help. But according to Answers.com a meme is a "unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another."

So in other words, it's just an opportunity for us to talk about ourselves.

Lately my attention span has been that of a flea, so I'm choosing a one-word meme this time. Short and to-the-point sounds good to me.

You’re feeling: conflicted
To your left: father-in-law
On your mind: haikus and NBA playoffs
Last meal included: shrimp
You sometimes find it hard to: stop thinking
The weather: gorgeous!
Something you have a collection of: rubber stamps
A smell that cheers you up: frying bacon
A smell that can ruin your mood: bell peppers
How long since you last shaved: a week (before you think I'm gross, I've gotten laser hair removal on my legs and underarms. It was worth every last penny.)
The current state of your hair: Loreal Natural Match 5W
The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): Nikon camera
Your skill with chopsticks: decent
Which section you head for first in a bookstore: Christian fiction
Something you’re craving: another Spurs playoff championship
Your general thoughts on the presidential race: Liar liar pants on fire.
How many times have you been hospitalized this year: none
Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: hot shower
You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: comedian
Something that freaks you out a little: back hair
Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: dark chocolate M&Ms
You have never: eaten an oyster
You never want to: eat an oyster

I tag Stephanie, Megan, and Amy Soup (who hasn't written a bloody thing in months!). Go to it, girls.

Now I Know How Huckabee Felt

2008-04-18T19:12:00.003-05:00

Clearly I'm not cut out for politics. Last night I was ahead in the haiku contest, but right now I'm losing by 200+ votes. Darcie's campaign team has got a seriously good grassroots effort going on.

I'm trying not to let this bug me. It's a silly haiku contest, for crying out loud! But I like my poem and I liked briefly dreaming what I'd do with the money. An extravagant pair of Bedhead pajamas and another Compassion sponsorship were the frontrunning thoughts, by the way.

So if you haven't voted and you like my poem, head on over there and click by my name. But I'm not going to pull an Obama and start repeatedly calling everyone I know because that's just annoying. (But if you want to get the word out for me, I'd appreciate it.)

I'm a Finalist!

2008-04-17T21:59:00.002-05:00

Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer is hosting a little haiku contest. The challenge was to write a haiku about motherhood. It could have been sweet, sincere, or, in my case, sarcastic. As I've always said, sarcasm is my spiritual gift.

Vote for me! The winner gets a $1000 debit card!

[Insert Cuss Word Here]

2008-04-13T16:16:00.003-05:00

Remember last August when a bottle of balsamic vinegar broke on my pantry floor?

It. Happened. Again.

Really, I don't have the words to express how incredibly frustrated/angry/annoyed/etc I was when the bottle broke this morning. But one choice cuss word emitted from my mouth in front of my 8-year-old daughter. That's some fine parenting there.

I contained the spillage and spent the next hour cleaning the pantry, all the time wondering if God was punishing me for not going to church this morning. I don't think He plays that way, but I wondered.

All I know is balsamic vinegar is my kryptonite.

Where's My Brain?

2008-04-10T13:55:00.008-05:00

I used to be a smart person. Really. I was valedictorian of my junior high. My mom will vouch that I was recruited by MIT for college. The words "some assembly required" do not intimidate me in the least, even when they're written in Chinese.

Yet somehow I've turned into a complete idiot. Apparently my brain has either somehow shrunk in size or removed from my head entirely.

Case in point: Yesterday I went grocery shopping at both Costco and HEB. When I got home I quickly unloaded all the Costco groceries because there were frozen items and I didn't want the tempura shrimp to thaw. See? I'm smart like that.

But today I was making dinner for my friend Amy when I realized I couldn't find the linguine. And then it dawned on me -- I'd left the HEB groceries in the back of the van. I quickly tried to remember what I'd bought as I walked out to the garage. Carrots? They'd be safe. Dried pasta? No problem. But when I looked into the trunk of my minivan I discovered a bag containing two containers of Contadina Light Alfredo Sauce, which I also needed for the recipe I was making. At $3.79 apiece, I'd just wasted nearly 8 bucks.

(Kevin, you can stop shaking your head now. I can feel your contempt from the other room. Seriously -- stop it.)

So now I have to waste more time and gas to drive to HEB and buy more Alfredo sauce. Oh, and don't think I wondered whether the Alfredo sauce would still be viable. What was the temperature last night? Isn't cheese pasteurized? Refrigeration is overrated, right? But in the end I decided not to risk poisoning my friend. I'm sure Amy is breathing a sigh of relief this very second.

There are many, many more examples of my brainlessness, but I'm more interesting in the WHY of it all. And I've come to the conclusion that it's all my kids' fault. I firmly believe that my IQ dropped 10 points with the birth of each child. If I'd had any more kids, I would have become the Forrest Gump of San Antonio. Only dumber.

This is the real reason we're not having any more children. My OB/GYN warned me about my boggy uterus, but I think in my idiocy I must have misunderstood her. Yes, now that I think about it (which is difficult when you're brain has been replaced with oatmeal), she must have warned me about my boggy brain. I think the official Latin term is Cranium Gonemissingum. Or something like that.

So if anyone discovers a cure for this horrible medical condition, can you let me know? I'll be wandering the aisles of HEB trying to remember what I was supposed to buy.

Update: I drove to school with the plan to give Amy her meal during carpool. As I pulled into the carpool lane, I realized that I'd left the meal at home in my refrigerator. You can stop laughing anytime.

Update #2: Amy just called me and asked, "Was there supposed to be pasta?" Yup, I forgot to put the linguine in the bag of goodies.

I so want this day to end.

Real Beauty

2008-04-09T16:12:00.003-05:00

Today I came across this video, which is just brilliant. The irony is that today I have a RAGING pimple on my left cheek, the size of which I haven't seen since college. I was feeling very self-conscious about my cheek, but the flaws on this model's skin actually made me feel better. We're all flawed; some of us are better at applying makeup.

What most fascinated me was the elongating of the model's neck. Is an Audrey Hepburn neck considered more attractive than a standard neck? I have a longer neck than average... I guess I should be grateful?

It seems to me that all this beautifying is downright lying. It's no wonder I have self-esteem issues when every magazine photo I see has been airbrushed and Photoshopped to death. I can't compete with a computer program.

Nor can I compete with the women who have opted to spend thousands on plastic surgery. This false pursuit of perfection is one of the reason I moved away from Los Angeles, but the perfection mentality has infiltrated and taken over San Antonio, too. I see it every day at the gym, the kids' schools, even grocery shopping at HEB... ridiculously skinny women with silicone bowling balls on their chests whose hair is meticulously coifed and whose outfit cost more than my mortgage. And then there's me, who right now is wearing non-designer workout clothes and an ill-fitting baseball cap because I haven't had time to shower yet. (Hey, even I know better than to go out in public with a serious case of bedhead. But throwing on a hat takes 10 seconds, while the coifed women postponed their errands until they'd showered, moussed, styled and sprayed. And I don't have time for that.)

So here I am, with all my perceived flaws. I have cellulite, thick ankles, an unusually large posterior, a size 34-A chest, a huge zit on my cheek, and a spattering of gray roots. And you know what? I'm going to keep telling myself I'm beautiful because I'm REAL.

More 4-Year-Old Logic

2008-04-03T08:06:00.001-05:00

Me: "Do you want pancakes for breakfast?"

David: "I think I would like regular pancakes because the blueberry ones make me have a bruise."

This is the same child who says spinach gives him the hiccups, by the way.

15 Years Ago...

2008-04-01T12:08:00.004-05:00

Fifteen years ago today I was at work at the college newspaper laying down an ad for AMC Theatres. I commented to a friend that I hadn't seen a movie in ages, and Kevin overheard and said, "We should go to a movie sometime." I laughed it off and kind of ignored the comment.

Kevin called me later that afternoon and asked me on a date for that night. And the rest is history...

Bathrooms in Hell?

2008-04-01T12:01:00.005-05:00

On the drive home from church today David was peppering me with questions... Why did Jesus have to die? What's does it feel like to go to heaven? I believe in Jesus, so why can't I be in heaven now? It was one of those wonderful parenting moments when I thought to myself, Yes! He's getting it!

Until...

David: Are there naked people in hell?
Mommy: I don't know, love.
David: But if the people in hell need to go to the bathroom, there aren't any bathrooms.
Mommy: [stifles giggling]
David: What? It's not funny! There aren't any bathrooms in hell!

I just adore the 4-year-old perspective on theology.

Ideas for April Fool's Day

2008-03-31T15:44:00.011-05:00

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day, which is one of my favorite non-Christian holidays. I come from a long line of practical jokers so April Fool's was a year-round event at my house growing up. I'm not talking about short-sheeting the bed or putting Vaseline on the toilet seat, although we did those once.

Here are a few of the better stunts we pulled at the Simpson house...

The Christmas Tree Pile-up. You know that week after New Year's when everybody puts their dead, dried-out, Charlie-Brown looking Christmas trees on the curb? One year my mom got the idea that we needed to help out the city employees and go around collecting the trees. Why? Because she wanted to pile up as many trees as possible in the front courtyard of our neighbor's house. (This was a very good friend of the family, mind you, and not a vindictive revenge against an unkind neighbor.) Sometime around midnight we drove around the block gathering trees and depositing them into Leonora's courtyard. Eventually they were so piled up that you couldn't even see the front door. I don't know if Leonora or her skillethead* of a husband opened the front door first, but I do wish I could have seen their reaction when they saw their very own Dead Christmas Tree Lot.

(* Skillethead: noun A person who has absolutely no sense of humor to the point where you just want to whack them over the head with a skillet.)

The Midnight Stampers. My sister Jamie was having a slumber party sometime during the early 80s. I remember a gaggle of girls sitting in the Jacuzzi singing along to Billy Joel's Glass Houses album (back when they were actually albums), so it was probably the summer of 1980. It was loud, giggly, raucous, and I was rather grateful when everybody finally fell asleep on the living room floor. One, it was quiet, and two, my mom had another great practical joke to pull. My mom, sister Brooke, and I took a few of her rubber stamps and a black ink pad and stamped on the girls' faces. It was a little dicey pressing a stamp onto a sleeping girl without her waking up, and it was even more difficult navigating our way among the sleeping bags and other junk without tripping and falling. But we managed the task and went to bed.
Several hours later we woke up to the sound of squealing as the girls had discovered their inked-up faces. Some of them thought it was hilarious, but most of the 12-year-old girls were not pleased. They grew even more frustrated when neither soap nor cleanser nor Sea Breeze removed the black ink. I think my mom had to apologize to the other moms that day.

The Granny Panties Flagpole. My mom, Skeez* and I used to take evening walks around the neighborhood. One of the neighbors had a metal flagpole in the front yard. There was never, ever a flag on the pole and the chain made a rather annoying clanging sound when the wind blew. I don't remember why we decided to do this, but one night we took a pair of the biggest, ugliest satin panties and strung them up the flagpole. They waved gloriously in the wind for a day or two until the neighbor noticed them and took them down. We waited another week and then strung up another pair. This went on for a while before the novelty wore off. It was one of our more juvenile stunts but nobody ever said we were mature.

(*Skeez: Short for Skeezix, who was a character in an old cartoon strip, maybe Gasoline Alley? Skeez was the nickname of a good friend of my mom's who taught me how to drive in his Mercedes Benz. Talk about stress - even at 15 I knew the value of a Benz and the likelihood of a student driver crashing it.)

The Circular Drive Detour. OK, this one may have been illegal. Certain someones (and I'm not naming names) went around town gathering those blinking construction signs -- you know, those wooden sawhorses that have reflector tape and a flashing orange light on top? We Said people also gathered a dozen orange cones and one detour sign. Then the culprits creating a road blockade and detour which took vehicles through a neighbor's circular driveway. I'm pleading the Fifth.

The antics continued in college, of course, and this is probably my favorite practical joke during the college years:

The Dorm Room Gravity Flip. I'd experienced a rather unpleasant break-up, so a girlfriend and I decided to take everything in my boyfriend's room and flip it upside down. We finagled a key from one of the roommates and spent an hour turning his bed, dresser, chair, stereo, wall posters, and everything else we could upside down. We also replaced all his cassette tapes with country music and Prince's Purple Rain. He eventually got his tapes back, but for several days he would pull out a rap case and find a Garth Brooks tape inside. Interestingly enough, the girl who helped me with that stunt ended up dating my ex-boyfriend for the next three years. Hmmm.

But the best practical joker in the family is actually my brother-in-law, Kelly. He's taken joking to a whole new level with these escapades...

The Crime Scene. Kevin and I once inherited a roll of yellow "Crime Scene - Do Not Cross" police tape. It was an awesome white elephant gift and we gave it to my brother-in-law because we knew he'd put it to good use. He held onto it for a while until some neighbors went out of town. Before they got back, he wrapped their entire house with the yellow tape. They got back from a relaxing vacation and were horrified when they turned onto their street and saw that their house had been burglarized. They didn't know what to do, so they knocked on Kelly's door and asked what had happened while they were gone. Kelly strung them along for a while with an elaborate story before he let them in on the joke.

The "What Is That Smell?" Stunt. All parents have had one of these -- the super-stinky, gag-inducing, ultra-nasty poopy diaper. Now imagine putting that diaper under the front seat of a friend's car on a 90-degree day. The friend could not figure out where the horrible smell was coming from. He vacuumed, sprayed air freshener, and even had the car detailed. Eventually (as in days later) his son was sitting in the back seat of the car when he spotted the poopy diaper under the seat. I'm sure payback was unpleasant.

Lastly, and I don't remember which sister pulled this stunt...

Santa Claus Loves Everybody. My sisters live in a highly populated Jewish part of town. (Was that kosher?) One year they collected as many tacky plastic Christmas decorations as possible -- Santas, manger scenes, anything at all to do with Christmas. One of their Jewish neighbors was the lucky recipient of a yard-full of incredibly tacky Christmas decorations. Thankfully both Jews and Gentiles have a sense of humor.

So here's my April Fool's Challenge: I want to hear about your antics! Leave me a comment telling me about the best practical joke you've ever pulled. We all need a good laugh.

Birthday Reflections

2008-03-26T21:10:00.003-05:00

Today's my (cough) 37th birthday. Not a huge milestone, except that as of this month I have officially lived in Texas longer than I lived in Los Angeles. (Not including the 12 months I spent living in a tent in Colorado, but let's not confuse things.) When I moved to Texas I knew I'd never return to LA, but I also didn't know that I'd stay here forever, too. Life is full of seemingly minor decisions that become longterm, isn't it? Nonetheless, I could see the hand of God guiding me to San Antonio, and I haven't heard Him telling me to go elsewhere so here I am. For the last 18 and a half years. In Texas. God's sense of humor still fascinates me.

Ironically, this week in Bible study we discussed Joshua 13-19 where God divides Canaan among the tribes of Judah. I was reminded, once again, that the Lord has given me a wonderful portion. Not just materially, although He has certainly blessed me with a hard-working husband whose talents allow me to stay at home and (in theory) focus on the kids and the house. In reality my house is a wreck, but we have clean laundry and I'm always available to take care of the kids' needs. But the Lord's portion also includes a fabulous, loving church family. I've been at Wayside for 18 years and Kevin and I have been part of Homebuilders for 8+ years, and I am continually amazed at how much God has blessed me in terms of rich friendships. The Lord's portion also includes numerous ministry opportunities. Those are ever-changing, but tonight I got to talk to several new HB friends (one of whom is also a Los Angeles transplant), and I am seeing the wonderful truth behind Deuteronomy 32:9, "For the Lord's portion is his people."

In all it's been a good birthday. I got phone calls from my sisters, a handmade card from Kelly in Ohio (another HB friend whose friendship blessed me for a season), homemade drawings from the kids, and an invite to a Spurs game next week -- woot! Kevin even snuck a dozen roses into my car while I was working out at the gym, a surprise that put a big old smile on my face. All that and a plate of Outback's coconut shrimp for dinner made for a very good day.

The Circle Game (with full apologies to Joni Mitchell)

2008-03-17T15:13:00.007-05:00

Yesterday a child came down to ponder
Does she have a fever? Is her throat red?
Mama held her hand upon her forehead
And declared that child go back to bed.

And the sickness, it goes round and round
And the aches and fevers go up and down
We're captives on a carousel of pain
We can't get well and I wish these germs
would go back from where they came
As we go round and round and round in the circle game.

First Kendra, then me, now Caelyn.
Happy Spring Break, everybody.

More Weekend Time Wasters

2008-03-14T11:19:00.006-05:00

More proof that I'm qualified to be a secretary.
88 words

Speedtest

And apparently I have a good voice for TV...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The Inland North
Boston
North Central
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I watch way too much television...

Your Final Score Was 73%

Good Job! You definitely know your TV theme songs. It might be possible that you are watching too much television.

Guess the Theme Song
Take More Quizzes

But at least I'm smarter than a 5th grader...

You paid attention during 86% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

Lasik, Round Two

2008-03-13T08:12:00.004-05:00

Last May I took the plunge and had Lasik done on both eyes. A detailed description of that procedure can be found here. (And by the way, that post gets the most Google hits out of all of mine. I guess Lasik is more interesting that the funny things my kids say.)

I've been back to the doctor multiple times during the last year, and my left eye has consistently been worse than my right. Now let's be clear, I used to see 20/400 out of my left eye, and post-Lasik it varied between 20/40 and 20/100. So both measurements were better than before. But, I paid $2400 for that eye to be fixed, and so when my doctor offered to do an "enhancement" for free, I thought I should take advantage of it.

Yesterday I went back to the Laser center and had it tweaked. I got briefed, prepped (God bless Valium!), and walked into the laser room. There I lay down on the reclining chair and felt the inflatable pillow lock my head into place. An assistant applied the duct tape to my eyelids to keep them open, and then that uncomfortable speculum got inserted to keep me from blinking. After a few more numbing drops, I was good to go.

First the doctor needed to relift the original corneal flap instead of cutting a new one. That was a little disturbing, since she was using what appeared to be a dental tool to gently lift the flap. It took a short while, but I could tell when she'd succeeded because my vision suddenly got very hazy, like I was looking through Vaseline. Then they had me stare at the blinking red light and zap, zap, zap, my eye got lasered. And the smell of burning flesh was apparent this time, too. The doctor then took a spatula and spent several minutes smoothing down the flap. I'm so thankful my doctor is a perfectionist, because there is a greater chance of having corneal scar tissue form when the flap is relifted. But she smoothed and tucked and finally declared it "perfect," which is always a good word to hear when someone's poking at your eyeball.

I went home and tried to take a long nap, but I woke up several times. My eye stung and itched, so tears were streaming out of it while I slept. Last night it felt a little itchy, but I'm not experiencing the dryness that I had last year. I'm doing the regimen of drops every four hours (last year it was every hour for the first day), and so far so good.

Update: I went for a vision test this afternoon and could read the 20/20 line perfectly and could guess my way through the 20/15 line. I'm impressed.

Weekend Time Wasters

2008-03-08T15:04:00.002-06:00

And this is how I spent the last hour...

I didn't like this first quiz since most of the Stampin' Up! colors weren't acceptable.
39

The next one was harder because I couldn't spell most of the countries.
50

And now I'm proud to say that I'm NOT a geek, although certain friends may beg to differ.
22% Geek

Finally, I took Dr. Phil's quiz. I got a 37, which means, "Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken."

And that would be my Saturday. That and a dozen loads of laundry.

Election Day

2008-03-04T19:42:00.004-06:00

Disclaimer: I am an idiot when it comes to politics. I took two Poli Sci courses in college. I nearly failed one class (seriously, I got a D) and I had to drop the other class because it started at 8 a.m. and I just couldn't drag my lazy bum out of bed that early. That said...

I voted for Obama. Last week. (I love early voting and always take advantage of it. I can combine a trip to the library with a trip to the polls.) I voted for Obama but I was really voting against Hilary. The thought of another Clinton administration terrifies me more than the ebola virus, so I placed my little vote for Obama in the hopes that she won't be on the ticket and, in the end, McCain and Obama will duke it out come November.

So I voted for Obama, but it's six days later and I want my vote back. Why? Because the man won't stinking leave me alone. In the last six days I have received three dozen phone calls from Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and various members of the Obama campaign. They called to remind me to vote. They called to ask who I was voting for. They called to tell me, again, that election day is very important and my vote matters and wouldn't I like to attend tonight's caucus?

OK, but I've already voted. Your call is wasting your time and my time and some campaign dollars. And, quite frankly, you're getting on my nerves.

I have politely hung up on Barack and Michelle's pre-recorded messages, semi-politely told the polling places that I've already voted, and not-so politely told today's callers that I'm sick of them calling.

I'm not even registered as a Democrat. How did they get my number and why are they bugging me so much?

Interestingly enough, I've only received one phone call from Hilary. I guess she knows she'd be wasting her time...

Font Geek

2008-03-03T17:20:00.003-06:00

OK, this is going to have a limited audience, but I just love it.

(Dedicated to PSoup, Marcus, and everyone who's taken a class from Sammye Johnson.)

Things That Made Me Happy Today...

2008-03-01T19:39:00.003-06:00

Sleeping until 8:04 a.m.
Watching Kendra and David sort the laundry. (yes! delegating works!)
Laughing with Amy during kickboxing class.
Wolfing down lunch knowing I just burned that many calories during kickboxing class.
Collecting pecans with Caelyn.
Shelling pecans with Caelyn.
Having David rub his head against my arm while purring like a cat.

Yup, it's the little things.

Decompressing

2008-02-21T19:14:00.003-06:00

I need to start with a funny story because the rest of this post is going to be verbal catharticism (is that a word?)...

The family was discussing the Spurs trade at dinner. For some idiotic reason the Spurs have traded Brent Barry and Francisco Elson to the Supersonics for some really old guy and a 2009 Draft Pick. I won't go into detail with my frustrations over this event, but suffice it to say that I think the Spurs have made a huge mistake. We already have the oldest team in the league, and while I believe in experience, I am doubtful that bringing in a defender who is my age is a brilliant move. Then again, what do I know? Maybe Kurt Thomas's height will be the answer to keeping the opponents' scores down.

At any rate, toward the end of dinner David gave his summary: "Mommy, your boyfriend is on the Supersonics because he's supersonic fast." Kevin and I couldn't stop laughing at his 4-year-old assessment of basketball and relationships in general. Not only do I have a new boyfriend, but he's 6-foot-7 and makes hilarious HEB commercials. Lucky me.

And now for something completely different:

David and I were checking out at Old Navy today when we witnessed a horrible accident. The woman in front of us in line had a toddler son and an adorable baby girl in an infant carrier. The baby was all smiles and I was having fun making faces at her. The mom finished up, opened the front door to leave, and then started screaming hysterically as she watched her two-year-old dart into the parking lot right into the path of an oncoming car. I watched with horror as the boy struck the front side of the moving car, which kept moving, ricocheting the boy onto the asphalt. He was trying to get up when his mom reached him and scooped him up. I ran outside and moved her baby carrier back into the store and told the employees to call 911. The ambulance arrived a few minutes later, although the boy wasn't bleeding and appeared to be more terrified than hurt. I think the mom needed checking out more than her son -- she was hysterically crying and shaking. Who wouldn't be? I started crying, too, and David looked at me quizzically since he didn't quite know what was going on. After the family went inside the ambulance to get examined, David and I had a long talk about why Mommy is always telling him not to run in parking lots and to always hold Mommy's hand. And you better believe that I'll be even more vigilant about it now.

I wish I'd thought to ask the mom's name, but God knew who I was talking about as I prayed for her while waiting for the ambulance to come. Still, I would have liked to be able to call her tomorrow and follow up.

Two years ago I took all three kids with me to California... on a plane... by myself. We were wandering through the airport when we saw another mom who had her toddler on one of those kiddie leashes. I overheard a couple (who obviously didn't have any children) talk about how horrible it was to put your kid on a leash. I didn't speak up but I wanted to tell that couple that some kids, especially two-year-olds, really do need leashes. It's not about bad parenting, it's about the safety of the child. And I know the mom today was wishing she'd had her son on a leash or in a stroller. But accidents happen, and I'm just so grateful that today's wasn't any worse.

Uganda David

2008-02-14T09:23:00.007-06:00

We just got our packet from Compassion, and this is a picture of David, a 6-year-old boy in Uganda. Isn't his smile just adorable? I was only on the Compassion website about 10 minutes before I spotted David and knew that he was going to be our newest family member. Of course, my son's name is David so our Compassion child will be called Uganda David, I suppose. He's the youngest of 7 children and his parents work odd-jobs to try and eke out a living. It's amazing that both his parents are alive in such an AIDS afflicted area where many children are either orphans or living with just one parent or extended family. I'm praying for you, Uganda David, and can't wait to meet you in this life or in heaven. Your smile brings me great joy.

I've never been to Uganda, but I've had a heart for the Ugandan people for several years ever since the Mwangaza Children's Choir came to San Antonio and spent several joyful weeks at our church. The Ugandan children were so loving, respectful, gracious, mild -- on many occasions I wished American children were more like them. The irony is that American children "have it all" and the Ugandan children live in extreme poverty. Yet the Ugandan children have more pure joy than my own kids. Funny how abundance depletes joy rather than adds to it.

I paid for a whole year's of sponsorship out of my savings from last year's income. I wrote a few articles and did some random editing jobs last year, and all that money was just sitting in my bank account doing nothing. I've saved up money before to buy a piano and later to pay for my Lasik, but there really isn't anything I want to save my money for right now. I took some of it and chose a Compassion child and you know what? I've still got a lot more money just sitting there. Doing nothing. And right now I'm thinking I could sponsor a couple more Ugandan children without even feeling sacrificial. Because really, do I need another pair of shoes when I could pay for a month's worth of food and care for a little child? Yeah, that's what I think, too.

I've included a link that will take you right to the Compassion sponsorship site, where you can look at all those adorable faces and choose to extend your family, too. I promise you'll never miss that pair of shoes or Starbucks latte or whatever else we easily blow $40 a month on. If you want to read some more perspectives on Uganda, I highly recommend reading Shannon's blog and BooMama's blog. You might to grab a tissue before reading BooMama's.

I Can't Top a Bagoogle.

2008-02-04T19:18:00.000-06:00

While tucking in David at bedtime tonight:

D: I love you one hundred.
Me: Well, I love you one hundred five.
D: I love you one hundred ninety.
Me: I love you one million b'jillion.
D: I love you one hundred bagoogle.
Me: That's a lot of love.

Quirky Meme

2008-02-04T13:30:00.000-06:00

My buddy Megan (who plays a mean game of Scrabulous) tagged me several weeks ago and I'm just now getting around to responding.

Six random non-important quirks about me:

1. I'm a horrible procrastinator. (See intro paragraph above.)
2. I have a fear of birds. They are flappy and unpredictable and, in my mind, quite dirty.
3. Unless you count intramural bowling in college, I have never once played on an organized sports team.
4. As a result of my self-protective tendencies, I have never broken a bone. (Until I met Kevin, that is, who accidentally broke one of my toes on our honeymoon and then later broke my nose while opening a car door for me. He still denies both bones were actually broken, but I heard definite snapping and felt definite lingering pain.)
5. I currently own 72 pairs of shoes. (Ten pairs of boots of various colors/heights, 7 pairs of athletic shoes, and 55 pairs of flats, pumps, flip flops, wedges, etc.) I'm rather embarrassed by that fact. I do NOT own a pair of Crocs and never will. I wear a size 11, so I get pretty excited when I find a pair of cute shoes in my size on sale. It's a sickness, I tell you.
6. I don't like the words panties, ointment, bougainvillea, booty, or fluffernutter. Especially when they're all used in the same sentence.

We Have A Winner!

2008-02-02T11:26:00.000-06:00

My Bloggy Giveaway has closed and the random number generator picked 136, which was Cassia. Congrats!

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

2008-01-31T13:39:00.000-06:00

T-minus 6 hours until I get my Lost fix! Yes, I'm that addicted and geeky. I need my Hurley fix. I need to know if Charlie is miraculously rescued. I need to see Locke and Ben have a smackdown over the weird Jacob voice. Seriously, it's been too long!

Bloggy Giveaways

2008-01-28T09:30:00.000-06:00

The fine folks at Bloggy Giveaways are hosting yet another Bloggy Giveaway Carnival! I'm giving away a brand-new hardcover copy of my favorite children's book, The Penderwicks. This story is wholesome and wonderful and a great read-aloud at bedtime. I can't wait for the sequel to be released in April!

To enter the giveaway, you need to leave a comment telling me YOUR favorite children's book. We're always on the hunt for good books to read around here, so I appreciate your recommendations!

The winner will be picked and posted on Saturday, February 2. That's Groundhog Day, so watch the Bill Murray movie again for fun.

On Fear

2008-01-27T14:43:00.000-06:00

Fear is not an issue I've struggled with much. There have been times when I've worried, times when my imagination has gotten the better of me, but not that many occasions when I've truly been afraid. When I have felt fearful, my trick has been to pray through Philippians 4:8: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." I took each item in order. If the fear wasn't based in truth, then I didn't need to think about it.

Until this week. On Thursday one of my friends experienced a home invasion. Men with ski masks broke down her back door just minutes after her husband left for work. She grabbed the phone and hid in the closet where one of the men came later and, by God's total grace, did not see her in the corner. Also by God's grace was the fact that her son was over at her mom's house for the day. In six minutes the men stole $15,000 worth of material goods but, more importantly, stole my friend's peace of mind. Mine, too, since I had nightmares last night about our house being invaded. In my dream I was completely unable to fight back.

Her husband has since bought a pistol and today is taking KE to the range to learn how to shoot it. They are also looking for a new house and hope to be moved within the month. (Their current house backs up to a strip mall on a major highway, and it's most likely that the thieves jumped the back fence rather than coming in through the front.)

I asked Kevin to turn on our alarm system again and this afternoon he tested it out for me. I also promised him that I will be more vigilant about keeping the front door locked and the garage door closed when I'm home. Still, those precautions can't keep a person from breaking down my back door, and the panic button in my bedroom might not scare him away.

So, for one of the few times in my life, I find myself living in fear. Real fear. And I need a new verse to pray. So, my friends, who's got a Word from God for me?

Laundry Challenge

2008-01-24T11:21:00.000-06:00

I don't know WHY I want to do this, but this week I'm going to keep an officially tally of how many loads of laundry I do. I'm just curious, I guess.

By the way, I take back every nice thing I ever said about my Whirlpool Cabrio washer and dryer. The washing machine is no longer my favorite appliance, because it is seriously tangling my clothes. Every time I wash a load of jeans, it take me more than five minutes to untangle the legs and shake out the jeans for the dryer. It has done the same things with sweater sleeves. I've also noticed that the machine is balling up my clothes and getting unbalanced frequently.

I called Sears last week and they are letting me exchange the Cabrio for front-loading LG machines. I'm praying fervently that front-loaders will solve my laundry problems.

Now if they could just invent a machine that folds and puts away the clothes -- now that would be truly amazing.

Oh Mercy!

2008-01-15T20:47:00.000-06:00

I so wish I had a video of this event, but I'll do my best to describe my hubby's mishap. Last weekend Kevin committed to taking down the thousands and thousands of white Christmas lights on our house. (Remind me to take a photo next year and post it, 'cuz Kevin's light display is most impressive. Blinding, but impressive.)

He had already put most of the lights into the attic above the garage, which is not the attic that caused my injury last month. But being the considerate father that he is, he folded up the lower half of the ladder so the kids wouldn't run into it while they were retrieving their outdoor toys.

And that would be his downfall. Kevin (again, being a great dad) leaned over to plug in the battery of David's Jeep. And in a swift, fluid motion, he stood up and turned around and went SMACK! into the dropdown ladder. A millisecond later Kevin was sprawled on the garage floor with a quarter-sized chunk of skin missing from his forehead. He was bleeding. He was hurt. He deserved some mercy.

What was my response? Hysterical giggling. Non-stop, uncontrollable laughter. The next morning we went to church with Kevin wearing a Band-Aid like a philactery on his forehead. And every time Kevin had to explain his boo-boo to our friends, it was accompanied by the sound of my laughter.

Anyone want to guess what score I got for mercy on the spiritual gift survey? I'll give you a hint: It was a single digit. Out of 50 possible points.

The irony is that today I am so sore I can't even walk because I pushed myself at the gym yesterday. I hurt! I want mercy! But Kevin's showing me about as much mercy as I showed him, and I deserve it.

Fashion Advice (from a four-year-old)

2008-01-13T15:49:00.000-06:00

David's latest proclamation: "I'm going to wear Crocs and socks because they rhyme. I'm only going to wear rhyming things."

Now that is a great way to build an outfit. Forget Garanimals -- just match things according to a rhyming sequence! A shirt and a skirt. A belt and a felt (hat). A blouse with some trous-ers? OK, maybe this idea needs some work.

Lost Library Books - Updated!

2008-01-09T20:29:00.000-06:00

My kids are massive readers, which is fabulous. My oldest typically reads one book a day, and the other two go in spurts but also have a love of books. And of course there's me, who would rather read a good book than eat (but doing both at the same time is best).

So here's the problem: Our house has been overrun with library books. We have a system, in theory. We have a cube-shaped green basket that holds all our library books. I just counted and we've got 39 in there. The problem is that there should be 40. We're missing a book and it's due today.

I want my kids to be comfortable reading, so they're allowed to take a book to a different room and read. The problem is getting them to put the books back into the basket when they are finished. I've already had to pay for a lost book recently, and I don't want to have to pay for another.

So what's your opinion of this topic? If we don't find the book, should the kids have to pay for the lost book or should I just show grace and pay for it myself? It's a responsibility issue, but I don't want to discourage them from reading. Ideas?

**UPDATE** The library found the book on their shelves and credited our account. Lesson learned: Ask the library for a shelf search before killing yourself looking in every nook and cranny in the house. At least I didn't get angry at the kids -- I would have had to ask big-time forgiveness!

YouTube Tuesday -- This One's for Amy Soup

2008-01-08T18:01:00.001-06:00

What if worship was like an NBA game? Hmmm...

Today's Post is Brought to You By the Letter A

2008-01-07T16:22:00.000-06:00

A is for Apple. Right after lunch I hauled my 40+ pound computer, three kids, and a bag full of stuff to keep said-kids occupied to the Apple store in La Cantera. I had an appointment at 1:20 and got there around 1:10. I checked in, left my huge desktop on their counter, and got the kids settled onto a pod of computers where they happily played on the games.

I spent the next half hour browsing the store. A is for Astonished. Technology has really passed me by, but I don't understand why all this stuff is important. Bluetooth? Don't need it. Lightning fast computer that connects to your iPod, iPhone, and iRefrigerator? Not necessary. Just let me have a basic machine where I can write, get on the internet, and play games. You know, the important stuff. But spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on fancy equipment just because it's cool is not my thing. One of their ad campaigns said that with an 80 gigabyte iPod, you could drive from LA to NYC 25 times and never hear the same song twice. That's not really a selling point for me. By the time I listen to that many hours of music, I'll be in the grave. With earbuds, apparently.

I finally got called to the Genius Bar at the exact same moment that I noticed my four-year-old doing the bathroom dance. All moms know this dance. I tried to speak quickly to the Genius to expedite the process, but he wanted to take his own sweet time diagnosing the problem, which is basically that the computer has no power.

The tech finally agreed that the computer didn't turn on. (He is a genius, after all.) But right when he asked for my information, I looked over at my son and realized that he was reaching the crescendo portion of his dance. I needed to act fast, so I asked the Genius if there was a bathroom available for my son. He directed me to a public bathroom five stores away, and I took off running with David in tow.

(By the way, La Cantera has the cleanest public bathrooms of any mall I've ever seen. I guess the bajillionaires who have enough money to shop Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, and all the other hoity-toity stores in that mall really deserve clean bathrooms. Wouldn't it be terrible if their Manolo Blahnik's got soiled?)

We returned to the Apple store where I realized that the tech guy didn't exactly hold my place at the Genius Bar. A woman with an iPhone crisis had jumped onto my stool and was waving her arms wildly trying to explain the severity of the problem. I waited patiently, which worked for once. The Genius excused himself and returned to me, where we continued trying to log in my information.

Fast forward 10 minutes: The Genius looks at me apologetically and says, "I'm really sorry, but we can't service this model. You see, it was bought in 2000 and it's considered vintage."

A is for Annoyed. I'm sorry, did he just call a 7-year-old computer vintage? I mean, the guy was probably in middle school when I bought it -- I guess that constitutes vintage, right? I could actually feel a new gray hair popping through my scalp.

So one hour after entering the Apple store, I hauled my retro Mac, my three kids and all their junk back to the car, drove to the local Mac repair shop and dropped off the hard drive. Took less than two minutes to fill out the paperwork. This place I like. If they can fix the power problem, I'll bake them cookies. Vintage people like to be nice like that.

UPDATE: MacTLC called yesterday and said I need a new power supply. To the tune of $200.67 plus tax plus labor. Which is less than one-tenth the cost of a new Mac, so I said yes please. But no cookies.

Technical Difficulties

2008-01-05T17:26:00.000-06:00

The shredder is still alive, but my beloved Mac is apparently dead. I shut it down around 1 o'clock this morning, and now there is absolutely no power. None. I've tried different cords, different outlets, but the machine is as dead as an armadillo on 281 North.

I talked to the friendly outsourced Apple guy, who confirmed that no, he couldn't help me. And the next available appointment at the Genius Bar at the Apple store is on Monday afternoon, so I'm at least 48 hours with only a semi-reliable laptop.

It's amazing how absolutely addicted I am to the computer. I physically get the shakes every time I walk into the study and can't check my e-mail. I'm also repeatedly pressing the power button with the faint hope that it will magically turn on, even though I know it won't. Crud.

My main prayer is that the Apple folks can somehow salvage the info on the hard drive. And then I need wisdom on whether to buy another Apple despite the painful pricetag, or to get a less-expensive Dell and deal with the technical issues that are involved with PCs. Double crud.

In the meantime, I'm going to deal with my unwanted computer detox the best way I can. Lots of chocolate.

I Broke the Shredder

2008-01-03T17:26:00.000-06:00

I'm on a house-cleaning, office-organizing, closet-purging binge. So far I've finished the closet under the stairs and right now I'm tackling the study. I've discovered Kevin's secret stash of his life history in paper. Everything from discussions regarding his starting salary at Andersen in 1994 to detailed notes about how much chandeliers cost in 1996. Truly riveting papers, these are. For trivia's sake, my salary was $33,491 when I quit teaching in 1999. I think my improved mental status far outweighed the loss of that semi-paltry income.

I've been shredding like a mad woman because I also found stacks and stacks of OLD bank statements (as in, we haven't had an account at these banks since we were newlyweds). I probably didn't have to shred all that, but there were numbers and addresses and, well, better safe than sorry.

At least that's what I thought until the shredder broke. It was straining from overuse but seemed fine. But now it won't accept any papers. It's little green light is staring at me, mocking me. I think I'll turn it off and see if it resets after it cools down, but it's looking like one of my first purchases of the new year is going to be a heavy-duty shredder. This little one never stood a chance.

New Year's Day Resolutions

2008-01-01T19:30:00.001-06:00

Please note that these resolutions are just for today, not the whole year. Wouldn't want to fail right off the bat, would you?

1) Spend entire day in Troll Pajamas. (aren't they hilarious?) Check.
2) Spend most of the day on the couch doing the final proof on Kristine's book. Check.
3) Watch the Biggest Loser. Check.
4) Don't waste time or water by showering. Check.
5) Take out the trash wearing my Troll pajamas. Check.

See? I'm already off to a great start in 2008.

I really might take some time to reflect and make a few goals for 2008, but for today I'm starting small.

A Stupid Story About A Coat

2007-12-31T13:29:00.000-06:00

Last winter I retired my old full-length black wool coat. It was horribly out of style with it's bulky shoulder pads, and it was much too big for me in general since my mother used to be convinced I was a size 12 even though I'm not. And it was wool, which is not cat-hair friendly and highly impractical in South Texas winters where 28 degrees is considered a "hard freeze." (Note to locals -- It's going to be 27 tomorrow night. Better wrap those pipes!)

So this winter I went on a hunt for a cute, fashionable, well-fitted coat. I spent a depressing hour at Burlington Coat Factory trying on a b'jillion coats when -- ta da! -- I found it. The perfect coat. Black weatherproof material, knee-length, little silver closures instead of big buttons. I loved it.

It hung happily in our coat closet until I finally had a chance to wear it on our anniversary, when I treated my hubby to a dinner at Ruth's Chris. We feasted on high-falutin' food, saw Gregg Popovich, and enjoyed an evening of grown-up conversation.

When we left the restaurant, I realized that my coat did not have pockets. Why would a coat have no pockets? I was most bummed since I really loved this coat but, come on, pockets are kind of a necessity, aren't they?

The cynical side of me thought, "I bought this at a discount store. I bet this was a second-quality coat. I bet the seamstresses accidentally sewed the pockets shut and that's why it was so cheap." So I went online and found the exact same coat at Macy's, where the description clearly stated the coat should have on-seam pockets. Darn! So I ordered the more-expensive Macy's coat and planned on returning the Burlington coat.

The Macy's coat arrived. I opened the box, looked at the coat, and thought, "Where are the stinking pockets?" Seriously, it must be a conspiracy. I must have gotten two defective coats from two different stores. (Yes, I'm that paranoid.)

Upon careful inspection, I realized that the coat did have pockets; they were just partially sewn shut. I guess this is common practice in the fashion industry, but these pockets were not just basted shut, they were full-on sewn shut. So I got my Burlington coat, inspected it, and saw that yes, there were pockets after all. I just needed to get my handy seam-ripper and carefully opened the pockets. Voila, my perfect coat is now, indeed, perfect.

So here's the stupid part of the story. Because I didn't figure out the pocket problem on the original coat, I wasted $13.95 in shipping to get a replacement coat that I didn't need. Aargh! Fourteen bucks down the drain, and I have to fight the after-Christmas crowds at Macy's just to return the darn thing. Double aargh!

I wish there was a moral to this story other than my own stupidity. But there isn't. Like I said, it's just a stupid story about a coat, which I will happily wear for many years to come.

Blah Humbug

2007-12-26T20:31:00.000-06:00

I really do love everything about Christmas -- the twinkling lights, pine boughs, freshly baked treats -- the whole Advent season is usually a joyful time for me.

Not this year, though, and I don't know why. I'm not feeling the usual post-Christmas letdown; this year I never felt the Christmas spirit at all.

I did all the right things: I sent Christmas cards (partially homemade), I baked pumpkin bread, I put up the tree and reminisced about all the ornaments, I bought all the gifts (including the gifts from one of the grandmothers, who wasn't able to shop this year), I wrapped all the gifts, I hand-stamped the annual calendars, I did the nightly nativity reading with the kids. So why is it so blah humbug?

Part of the problem is logistical -- I put the Christmas tree upstairs this year and haven't spent one evening up there enjoying the lights. The gameroom is a bloody disaster because the attic ladder is still broken and we have an over-abundance of Christmas tubs and junk cluttering up the room. And I don't deal well with clutter so I'm just avoiding the upstairs altogether.

Part of it was familial. The kids didn't get out of school until December 21, so life was going at breakneck speed until then with school functions and parties. Then we had to pack up the van and truck over to Houston since Kevin's mom can't travel post-surgery. We've never shared Christmas Eve and Day with them before. It was nice, but not what I wanted. I wanted our old traditions and our own quiet family, but instead I got thrust into a huge celebration of people I haven't seen since our wedding 12 years ago. The introvert in me wanted to run and hide, but I put on my game face and did the best I could.

Part of it was just the fact that I'm the grownup now. I really miss the magic of Christmas, where my parents surprised us with unexpected gifts and where the traditional foods just appeared on the holiday table. Now that I'm the mommy, I have to do all the planning and shopping and cooking and, well, all of it. I think I'm mourning the fact that I'm in charge and if I don't do it, it doesn't get done. (Hint to husband -- I'd like a surprise under the tree next year.)

Of course I know that the season has been over-commercialized and over-Americanized and overblown entirely, but I'm still a sucker for all things traditional and familiar so I like the festivities and gifts. And I'm not taking down the tree until I have some Christmas joy.

A Christmas Medley

2007-12-19T08:11:00.001-06:00

This one is guaranteed to brighten your Christmas spirit!

Queen of Klutz

2007-12-01T23:28:00.000-06:00

For the record, I've always been a little accident prone. When you've got a 5'8" girl with size 11 feet and abnormally long limbs, accidents are bound to happen. But this week has been worse than usual.

Incident #1: I sideswiped Kevin's car. OK, this has nothing to do with my gangly arms and lack of coordination. But my klutziness certainly carries over to my driving. I have, after all, backed up into a CLOSED garage door because, when I looked over my shoulder, I saw sunlight. Only problem was that the OTHER garage door was open, not mine.
At any rate, last week I left to run an errand after Kevin had gotten home. I was backing out my minivan when I felt some unexpected resistance. Immediately I panicked and thought I'd run over the cat. So I pulled forward, opened the driver's door, and discovered that no, the cat was fine, but Kevin's car not so much. Kevin had parked his car in the driveway, which is not quite wide enough for two cars unless one car's nose is touching the garage door. Kevin's car wasn't. It was parked several feet back because he was planning on hitting the gym later. I didn't know that, I didn't notice that his car wasn't in the garage, and I certainly didn't see his midnight blue car parked in our unlit driveway.
Maybe this was a subconscious plot to make Kevin's nearly-new shiny car more like my beat-up embarrassment of a car. Maybe I'm just a bad driver. Either way, this was my first act of supreme klutziness of late.

Incident #2: I walked smack dab into a tree branch. Again, it was dark. We had just gotten home from our Thanksgiving road trip and I was walking next door to retrieve our mail from our super-nice neighbors. Again, our driveway and their sidewalk is unlit, and I was walking rather quickly since it was cold, when WHAM! I impaled myself on a crape myrtle. Right in the eye, no less. I'm sure my neighbor thought I was winking at her, but I couldn't open my eye. When I got home I had to pluck out several thorns from my eyelid, and the next day I had to visit my ophthalmologist and have her remove the remaining debris. Classic.

Incident #3: I caught my hand in the ladder going up to the attic, which resulted in the world's worst blood blister and an inch of missing flesh. How's that for a visual? I was super-motivated to get going on Christmas decorations this morning, and I must have climbed that attic ladder a dozen times in an hour. The pull-down hinge on the ladder is acting funky, though, so I hit it with my hand to pop the hinge back into place. Not smart, since the hinge closed right onto my palm. I screamed rather loudly, cried for about an hour, and haven't quite recovered yet.

I'm really praying that I don't have any more incidents, but maybe I need to review the 911 drill with the kids just in case.

Highlights of the Week

2007-11-19T19:56:00.000-06:00

It's been insanely busy this month, most of the activity happening in the last week. Here's a rundown of the highlights:

#1) My sweet boy is now four years old. His birthday was on Saturday, but we weren't able to celebrate that day because we were heading up a service project on the South Side (#2) and going to church to see the Thomas girls get baptized. But David, who is wonderfully laid back, was perfectly fine with delaying his celebration for a day. He was also incredibly forgiving when I forgot to make cupcakes for his class on Friday. Did I mention it was a crazy week? I realized at 1:30 p.m. that I had completely forgotten to make and send a treat to school so they could celebrate his birthday. David never even mentioned it to me after school, and I was able to get over the mommy guilt eventually.
Yesterday we hid his birthday presents (our family's goofy tradition) and I got to watch the kids shoot Nerf Balls all over the yard. Today we met David's two favorite friends at Chick-fil-A for lunch, and this afternoon David and his sisters tore up the yard in his new Firefighter Jeep, a special present from Grammy. It was a haphazard kind of birthday, but David didn't seem to mind in the least. Words cannot say how much I adore my son.

#2) Our Sunday School class was able to serve a Thanksgiving dinner to about 150 people at Riverside, which is a government-subsidized apartment complex on the South Side. We've been doing Easter and Christmas celebrations there for several years now, but this was our biggest turnout. We went through nine turkeys, a gross of rolls, and tons of other holiday-type foods. It's really difficult planning how much food to bring, but we did OK this year. The biggest goof was on my shoulders -- last year I brought way too many green beans and ended up tossing an entire crock pot full. This year I only brought 5 pounds worth, and we ran out early.
I was in full Martha-mode and wasn't able to watch the games or interact with the Riverside families as much as I would have liked. But I was able to greet everybody as they went through the line and talk briefly to Jennifer, a single mom of four girls who are adorable.

#3) We got to celebrate "authentic" Thanksgiving Feasts at the girls' school. This is a fun tradition that requires everybody to dress up as a Pilgrim or Indian (sorry, Native American). Again, I was in Martha-mode since I'm the room mom for Caelyn's class and was in charge of coordinating all the food. But it was still highly enjoyable to see the kids dressed up and playing silly games. I did realize how thankful I am that I don't have a job that requires me to be on my feet all day long. My legs were so sore at the end of both days!

#4) My laundry room is clean! All the laundry is washed, although not put away. Tomorrow I'll deal with all the piles in a housecleaning blitz. OK, this isn't earth-shattering news, but it's a major accomplishment for me. Have I told you how much I love my new washer and dryer? I can fit twice as much laundry in the washer as before! The thing sounds like an airplane engine warming up during the spin cycle, which amuses me greatly. At any rate, I highly recommend the Whirlpool Cabrio.

#5) I found out that my mom reads my blog (Hi Mom!). I don't talk about my blog so I was pleasantly surprised that I have one more way to communicate with my mom since she lives 1400 miles away.

I have so much to be thankful for, and hopefully I'll have time to reflect and write later in the week. We're heading to Kevin's parents' house on Wednesday and I'll be doing a lion's share of the cooking to help out Kevin's mom, who recently had knee replacement surgery. I'm looking forward to having some time to relax, although that likely won't happen since I need to finish proofreading Kristine's book and write two more passages. Like I said, it's been crazy busy this month.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Culture Shock

2007-11-09T20:53:00.000-06:00

I live in San Antonio, but I don't. Sure, my mail is addressed to San Antonio, but my city is vastly different from the San Antonio just 20 miles south or west or east of my neighborhood. My San Antonio is 75 percent white, 95 percent English speaking, and 100 percent above the poverty line. But that's not the real San Antonio.

I've lived a sheltered life. A comfortable life. And for some reason, I'm a little afraid of things outside that life.

Today I visited my friend KJ, who is stuck at University Hospital this week. University is the public hospital, equivalent to County on "ER." No insurance? No problem, since they'll treat anybody who walks in the door. KJ thinks she's one of the few people actually paying to be there.

Yesterday, one of the Amys visited KJ. On her way in, she saw a man who was in leg irons. He was a prisoner of some sort, and Amy was a little freaked out by the time she got to the 12th floor.

But it got me thinking... Why are we so afraid of people "different" than we are? Jesus would have gone up to that man, struck up a conversation, and probably absolved him of his sins. Me? I would have meekly scurried away and said a prayer of thanks for the nice armed guards.

My visit to the hospital was less exciting. I made a concerted effort to smile at people and pretend that I didn't feel out of place. But I did, and that bothers me.

I have no real conclusions or epiphanies here -- I'm just noting an observation about myself. Your thoughts?

YouTube Tuesday -- At Kevin's Request

2007-11-06T13:35:00.000-06:00

Kevin's all-time favorite song, I think. Scroll down to see a picture of him dressed as MC Hammer (and me as Joan Jett) from a party last year.

Here's the pic of us going to our Sunday School class's Rock Star Christmas Party. I do believe that was the most irreverent theme we could have chosen, but it was mighty funny to see our friends dressed up as Cyndi Lauper, Roy Orbison, and Robert Palmer's dancing girls. I have plenty of blackmail shots for future use, but I'll go ahead and publicly embarrass myself now.

Holy Giveaway!

2007-10-29T21:37:00.001-05:00

I'm not being facetious -- this really is a holy giveaway from Kim at Life in a Shoe. She's offering $250 dollars of materials from Vision Forum! I'm so impressed with their catalog it almost makes me want to homeschool.

At any rate, if I won here's what I would pick...

Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
So Much More
Parenting from the Heart
Mother/Home-Making Set
S.M Davis Family Rebuilders Library
The Sinking of the Titanic and Great Sea Disasters
Jonathan Park Set

There were so many other wonderful books and CDs, but this is what I whittled it down to.

If you want to enter the giveaway, head on over to Life in a Shoe and check it out!

Spice Cabinet Cleanup

2007-10-24T22:02:00.000-05:00

First, I confess that I alphabetize my spices. Also, I try to buy only McCormick spices because I like their bottle design best and it makes my spices look pretty all lined up on the shelf.

OK, now that confession is over, I'll tell you how I spent an hour this evening. I went to the McCormick website and checked the age on every single one of my spices. Yeah, I'm that geeky.

Most of my spices were purchased within the last decade, and I'm OK with that. I'm not going to buy into the current marketing rage that says that all spices have to be thrown out every six months or a year or every few years. I'm not that Martha Stewartish.

However, one of my spices was from 1980. That's not a typo. My glass bottle of Cracked Black Pepper was, indeed, 27 years old. It was manufactured before Madonna's Borderline, before leg warmers, before jellies shoes. My memories of 1980 include listening to KC and the Sunshine Band, watching Erik Estrada on CHiPs, and being tormented by the biggest bully this side of the Mississippi.

How I acquired such an ancient bottle of pepper, I'm not sure. I own a pepper grinder and tend to use that whenever a recipe calls for it. So I happily tossed the bottle of rancid pepper into the trash and felt an iota better about my cooking abilities.

You Tube Tuesday - Tension Breaker

2007-10-23T17:38:00.001-05:00

From the classic movie "Summer School." I could use a good primal scream this week, too.

Kitchen Nightmares

2007-10-18T01:35:00.000-05:00

If you're new, you need to go back and read about my oven that's been broken for nearly a year. Go ahead, I'll wait.

So imagine my relief when my husband announced that it was finally time for a new oven. Problem: He wasn't on board getting a nice oven with all the bells and whistles that my old oven had. So he ordered a not-so-nice oven and I quietly dealt with it.

After several weeks of personal prayer and turmoil, hubby conceded the lesser oven wouldn't be the best investment. Problem: He had already removed the broken oven and it was sitting in our dining room. Oh, and the new oven had been delivered by Sears and it, too, was sitting expectantly in our dining room. It was like an appliance Stonehenge in there.

So he ordered the better oven and we were told it would "be a few days." That was 10 days ago. It's been an interesting 10 days trying to feed my family without an oven. Crock pots and microwaves can only take you so far, you know?

Glory be, the new oven was finally ready for pick-up (because Kevin refuses to pay for delivery and installation). He fetched it last night and maneuvered the 300+ pound monstrosity into the kitchen where it sat there all day giving me hope that the oven saga would soon end.

Mm hmm. Let the record show that it is now 1:43 in the morning, and we've been trying to install the blasted oven for more than FOUR hours now. The entire reason Kevin is trying to install this thing himself is because Sears wanted to charge us $165 for installation. I can understand his point, especially since Sears did a less than stellar job hooking up my washer and dryer. They got the hot and cold inlets reversed and I did three loads of laundry before figuring it out. Rinsing clothes in 140 degree water is not a good idea, by the way.

I admire Kevin's desire to spend our money wisely, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of heaving a $2000 appliance into place. I'm highly concerned about breaking a door or, worse, the entire stinking oven. I don't think we're under warranty here.

That said, Kevin built a fairly impressive ramp out of cinderblocks and two-by-fours. We hoisted the oven up the ramp and discovered that it was too big for the cabinet cutout. We thought it was only the screws that were too wide, so Kevin carefully measured and cut out four neat little notches for the screws.

Attempt #2 failed as well. Kevin shaved off part of the left side of the cabinet. Attempt #3? No go. This oven seems to be expanding with each trip up the ramp. As does my anxiety. Kevin keeps having to flip the oven down on its face and work on the cabinet opening. Every time we try another attempt, the oven doors flap open and the oven starts beeping incessantly. Oh, mercy, this is not going well.

[Excuse me while I go help for Attempt #4...]

Thirty minutes and a whole lot of sawdust later, the oven seems to be in place. Almost. It's sticking out about a half an inch from the front.

$165 for installation. Five hours to install, five hours of worry and fret and heart palpitations on my part as I envision 375 pounds of metal crashing onto my husband and $2000 going to pot. That works out to be about thirty bucks an hour, right? Yup, I would have paid that.

I still have a glimmer of hope that the oven will get installed correctly and that my kitchen nightmare will end soon. My in-laws are arriving in 34 hours and I would kind of like to be able to cook a meal for them. Then again, restaurants are good. I'll let you know how this turns out.

YouTube Tuesday - Praise Aerobics

2007-10-16T21:39:00.001-05:00

I'm starting a new trend in the blog world. Lots of bloggers do Menu Plan Mondays and Works for Me Wednesdays -- I'm starting YouTube Tuesday. I could only watch 90 seconds of this video...

And Miles to Go Before I Sleep...

2007-10-11T15:45:00.001-05:00

This is one of those weeks where, if I stopped to think about how much I have to do, I'd break down in tears and get nothing done. So instead of throwing myself a pity party, I'm choosing to embrace the non-stop adrenaline rush and pray that I'll be able to keep all the balls in the air with letting any crash on my head. Back to the grindstone...

Another Giveaway!

2007-09-26T20:53:00.000-05:00

Life in a Shoe is hosting a giveaway of Vision Forum's exciting new adventure series, Ballantyne books.

While you're visiting Kim's site, read her brilliant blog entry about how NOT to raise a picky eater. (That subject is one of my bigger pet peeves!)

Oxymoron

2007-09-21T22:02:00.000-05:00

Or maybe just moronic. I was driving by the neighborhood Krispy Kreme and saw their ad campaign for their new Whole Wheat Glazed Doughnut. As if whole wheat goodness is going to offset the 3.5 grams of transfats. Natch.

Aaarrr!

2007-09-20T08:06:00.000-05:00

As we learned from yesterday's instructional pirate video, "aaarrr" can mean anything from "I want a muffin" to "My team is winning." My "aaarrr" today translates as "I have two sick kids and my day is shot."

Backtrack: Last spring I tried to sign David up for preschool for the fall. Even though the girls had gone to preK there, we'd technically taken a year off and now we were banished to the "out-of-house" registration day. I arrived two hours before the registration was supposed to begin and there was already a line snaking its way toward the parking lot. I spent the next several hours trying to entertain my three-year-old son, and in the end we were No. 8 on the waiting list. (Apparently I've told a few too many people how much I love this preK program.)

The school year began and David was not enrolled anywhere. I'd pretty much resigned myself to having him accompany me on all my daily tasks and errands, and he seemed fairly game. So I was pleasantly surprised when I got a call last week saying that there was a spot for David at preK. I guess someone dropped out and the first seven people on the waiting list had already stuck their kids somewhere else. Lucky us, I say.

I'm getting to the point, really.

Yesterday was David's first day of school. Kevin dropped him off to lessen the separation problem from Mommy. I had an extremely productive day and arrived promptly at 2:30 to pick him up. David was passed out on the floor, covered in a blanket and hugging his beloved Bear Bear. I was very surprised that he'd taken a nap considering he's only taken a handful of naps in the last year. Maybe Mrs. Shirley wore him out with fun activities all day, I thought.

David didn't talk at all during the drive to pick up the girls from elementary carpool. When we got home, I asked him what his favorite part about school was. "Nothing," he said. He proceeded to tell me everything he did not like about his day. I send Mr. GrumpyPants off to play Webkinz and prayed that he'd make some friends at school on Friday.

Unfortunately, it's looking like David won't be at school on Friday. At dinner I realized that he had a fever, which accounts for the nap and general grumpiness. He woke up several times last night, and this morning he was delirious. I think he woke up in the middle of a dream, because he was crying about "I didn't mean to throw it" while pointing at his stuffed animals on the floor and then said "I didn't want the whole alphabet!" I'm still not sure what that was about, but he's all tucked in on the couch watching Diego right now.

To top it off, Kendra was also up in the middle of the night complaining about a sore throat. It looks fine to me, but to appease her hypochondria I took her temperature anyway. My bad. She's got a fever. So now she's on the other couch playing Webkinz on the laptop.

Aaarrr! Obviously I'm not really upset that my kids are sick -- that's just the way life goes. I'm just praying that whatever they have doesn't get spread around to the rest of us. And on that note, I have some disinfecting to do.

Avast, Me Hearties!

2007-09-19T11:40:00.001-05:00

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. You might not be up on your pirate lingo, so here's a refresher course from YouTube.

BTW, I'm a fan of random man-made holidays. Did you know that August 8 was the national "Sneak Some Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch Day"? I'm not kidding. Google it and celebrate with me next year.

Freecycle

2007-09-18T12:46:00.001-05:00

This might be of use to my friends in San Antonio. I've joined a Yahoo group called Freecycle (click on the title of this post for the link). This is a nationwide organization, but it's broken down into regional areas. Basically, this is a free way to unload stuff you can't use anymore but you don't think should be trashed yet. Also, you can submit requests for things you might need. It's a simple concept and so much easier than eBay. Yesterday I picked up five brand-new American Girl books for my daughters, who were quite thrilled and kept asking, "But why were these free?" I've also given away a bag full of maternity clothes that I no longer need or want.

Be warned: If you join you'll be getting quite a few daily emails that announce what's available and what's been taken. You can get a daily digest that summarizes the whole day, but then you'll miss out on grabbing what you might want. Most people operate under a first-email-first-served mentality, but the giver gets to choose the receipient. You are not allowed to share sob stories in an attempt to up your chances for getting free stuff.

Fun Stuff and Giveaways

2007-09-07T08:03:00.000-05:00

If you know me you know that I'm all about the free stuff. So I'm happy to share that Pinks and Blues is having a Hanes giveaway. Ten lucky winners are going to receive an assortment of kids-sized Hanes clothing. Head on over to the website and check it out!

Updates

2007-09-07T07:33:00.000-05:00

I've solved my plot problem and have turned in all four reading passages that were due this week. Now I've got four more passages on the docket, so forgive me if I don't blog much in the next week or so. I need to stay in good graces with my boss by meeting my deadlines.

On a different note, my dear husband has finally bought me a new oven. It's been seven months since the panel on the oven broke, resulting in some guesswork about how hot the oven is. Also, every time we turned the oven off, it would beep incessantly until we pressed the off button about a dozen more times over the next few minutes. I'll be mighty happy to see that Sears truck come September 25. Kevin also splurged for a new microwave, dishwasher, and high-efficiency Cabrio washer and dryer. Yippee! The new washing machine should cut my laundry time in half, and the updated dishwasher should eliminate by current need to pre-rinse everything. Plus we got a rebate from Sears, a rebate from Whirlpool, and we'll get a rebate from our local utility companies for having high-efficiency appliances. Oh, to enter to current century.

Writer's Block

2007-08-31T22:21:00.000-05:00

My writing pimp called me this afternoon and kicked back a reading passage that I submitted last night. Basically, he told me to start over. The only problem is that I can't figure out how to resolve the plot. A little help, people? I'll name a character after you.

Here's what I have to include: It's a story about some kids on a class field trip who get lost in the woods. I have to figure out a "clever" way for them to find their way back. I can't use a compass, the position of the sun, or any reference to north/south/east/west. (Apparently the kids taking this comprehension test are geographically challenged.) So how can the lost kids get unlost? I'm taking any and all suggestions.

Menu Plan Monday, 8/27

2007-08-26T17:25:00.000-05:00

Yippee! It's the first day of school and I get to go to the grocery store with only ONE child instead of three! Tagalong David is always content to sit in the cart while I wander the aisles (as long as he has a snack), which means I might get out of the store with everything on my list. Glory, wouldn't that be a miracle?

All of my recipes this week are from The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook.

Monday: Shrimp Divan leftovers. This was a Super Suppers dish, and it flopped bigtime. My kids love shrimp but hated this one.
Tuesday: Beef Stroganoff over egg noodles, green beans, salad with strawberries and sugared pecans.
Wednesday: Probably leftovers of stroganoff. If not, we may hit one of the Kids Eat Free deals at a local burger joint.
Thursday: Tamale Pie with a Guacamole Salad.
Friday: Crispy Baked Halibut, sauteed zucchini with petite diced tomatoes, rice pilaf
Saturday: Restaurant night, I hope.
Sunday: Labor Day weekend, so we'll probably grill burgers.

I Switched from F to T

2007-08-25T10:18:00.001-05:00

I haven't taken the Myers-Briggs test in quite a while. In college I was an ISFJ, but today I'm apparently an ISTJ, which means I think more than I feel. Yeah, that sounds accurate. I'd also like to happily note that my extrovert/introvert numbers are equalizing, so I'm not such a loner anymore. I've always been borderline on the judging/perceiving scale, so that hasn't changed.

Not that any of this really defines who I am. I just like taking tests.

But here's the description of ISTJs. I bolded what I personally relate to.

"ISTJs are often called inspectors. They have a keen sense of right and wrong, especially in their area of interest and/or responsibility. They are noted for devotion to duty. Punctuality is a watchword of the ISTJ. The secretary, clerk, or business(wo)man by whom others set their clocks is likely to be an ISTJ."
- ISTJ Profile (TypeLogic)

"ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance on honesty and integrity. They are "good citizens" who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun - especially at family or work-related gatherings."
- Portrait of an ISTJ (The Personality Page)

"...characterized by decisiveness in practical affairs, are the guardians of institutions, and if only one adjective could be selected, "super dependable" would best describe them."
- The Portrait of the Inspector Guardian (Keirsey) "...private, does not appreciate strangeness, not adventurous, not spontaneous, follows the rules..."
- Jung Type Descriptions (ISTJ) (similarminds.com)

"At work, ISTJs get things done on a timely basis. They honor deadlines, and they believe in thoroughness. A half-finished joy is not a job well done. They established procedures and schedules, and are uncomfortable with those who do not do the same. ISTJs put duty before pleasure. As long as they can fulfil their responsibilities, they feel useful and thereby satisfied. Their work does not have to be fun, but it has to count toward something productive. ISTJs believe that vacations are something that one takes only when work has been accomplished; thus, at times they do not take vacations even when they could and should."

Procrastination

2007-08-22T20:49:00.000-05:00

OK, I've got seven articles to write, 3,240 workbook pages to tear out and file for #2's teacher, and eight days to plan and pack for a scrapbooking retreat. Oh, and I found out today that I'm the Room Mom for #2, which explains how I got suckered into the slave labor job above. Normally when I'm stressed I cut my hair, but I actually got a decent haircut last month so I'm going to control myself. Instead, I'll just run a little something about myself.

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:

1. We had just moved into our house, so we were trying to unpack boxes.
2. I also remember spending many a Saturday furniture shopping.
3. We also had NO WINDOW COVERINGS, so I vaguely remember trying to be modest enough so as not to offend the new neighbors.
4. School had already started, so I was sweating like a pig in my classroom that had constantly malfunctioning AC.
3. I recall inviting the school's administration to spend a day in my classroom and enjoy the sweltering heat and humidity for just a few hours. They never accepted the invitation, the wimps.

5 Things on My To-Do List Tomorrow

1. Finish tearing and filing the remaining 3,240 workbook pages.
2. Deliver the 6,480 pages, neatly sorted and labeled, to school.
3. Take the kids to a birthday party at Pump It Up, one of those inflatable wonderlands. Hey, it's free dinner.
4. Finish writing my article about The Forbidden City in Beijing.
5. Attempt to finish cleaning up the disaster in the dining room.

5 Snacks I Enjoy

1. Hot Tamales. I could eat those all day!
2. Peaches, nectarines, mangoes, or any other mellow summer fruit.
3. Just about any kind of cookie or chocolate candy, as long as it doesn't contain any form of peanut butter.
4. Goat cheese with diced tomatoes, basil, garlic, a little olive oil, and pita chips. More a meal than a snack, but it's dang good.
5. Starbucks Iced Mochas (the low sugar kind), Diet Dr Pepper, or Coke Zero. Those aren't exactly snacks, but I'm fully addicted.

5 Songs I Know the Lyrics To

1. Every Rich Mullins song ever recorded.
2. Every Chris Tomlin song ever recorded.
3. Every Howard Jones song ever recorded.
4. An embarrassing number of B-52s songs, especially "Love Shack" and "Rock Lobster."
5. Honestly, I know the lyrics to the majority of mainstream 80s songs. My brain just works that way.

5 Things I Would Do If I Were a Millionaire

1. Buy a house with a bigger laundry room and a craft room.
2. Buy a minivan with automatic doors, a DVD player, and a retractable limousine partition to drown out the kids.
3. Take Kevin to Italy.
4. Save a bunch.
5. Give as God leads without feeling like I need to stick to our "giving budget."

5 Bad Habits

1. I sleep too late.
2. I watch too much TV. (But if you want a laugh, watch "Flipping Out" on Bravo. The guy actually took his cat for acupuncture. The show's both hilarious and disturbing since I'm related to people just like this guy.)
3. I tend to ignore my family in favor of reading.
4. I'm addicted to caffeine and computer games.
5. I'm a chronic procrastinator.

5 Things I'd Never Wear Again

1. Suntan colored nylons.
2. Maternity clothes, thanks to the fabulous Dr. Case.
3. The color purple. I had to wear it almost every day in high school. It's a horrible color on me and accentuates the lovely undereye circles I can't seem to cover up.
4. An unpadded bra. It's so unfair what three years of nursing does to a girl.
5. Tapered jeans. Praise God from whom all bootcuts flow.

5 Things I Should Be Doing Right Now

1. Writing.
2. Cleaning the house.
3. Paying attention to my hubby.
4. Getting ready for bed so I won't be up until midnight, again.
5. Reading something worthwhile instead of the incredibly propaganda-ish book I'm stuck in right now.

In Case You Were Wondering...

2007-08-17T22:15:00.000-05:00

Just in case you need to know what the absolute worst thing is to have spilled all over your pantry floor, I know the answer: a Costco-sized bottle of good balsamic vinegar.

Let me say, I am a connoisseur of pantry spillage. Once Kendra dumped a five-pound bag of flour on her head. It made for funny photos and super-easy clean up with a Hepa-filtered vacuum. A couple years ago, I accidentally broke (of course; who would do this on purpose?) a pint-sized bottle of olive oil on the pantry floor. Messy, for sure, but fairly easily contained with loads of paper towels and a bucket of soapy water.

Today's episode, however, came on the heels of my Mover of Stuff diatribe below. I was trying to move the waffle iron from the appliance cabinet to the a spot in the pantry next to the waffle mix. I was sliding the bottles of condiments over a little when, in super slow-mo, I saw the liter of balsamic vinegar fall off the shelf and crash onto the already-chipped tile below. The almost-black liquid started oozing faster than the Exxon-Valdez oil spill. Within 20 seconds, the entire 3-by-6 foot pantry floor was covered in a pool of acrid-smelling viscosity. I had dozens of boxes, bins, and food-stuffs on the floor, all of which were now soaked with vinegar. To my credit, all I said was, "Oh, no." I am particularly proud of my verbal restraint.

The vinegar had splattered onto my feet, flip-flops (which were thankfully a dark-brown color already), and lower legs. As I walked across the kitchen to get the paper towels, I left brown footprints all over the floor. The scenario kept getting worse as I starting mopping up the sticky goo and cut my fingers on the shards of glass. Now we've got vinegar and blood forever staining the grout.

(Now that I think of it, there was already some residual olive oil in the grout from before. Now the grout houses a little oil-and-vinegar salad dressing.)

I spent the next two hours mopping, Floor-Mating, sponging, rinsing, and wiping down everything in a 10-foot radius from the initial impact. The grout is indeed a much darker color, but we're in the process of picking out new tile for the kitchen anyway. God's timing was good here. Also, the balsamic-stained grout nicely offsets the crayon-stained grout on the other side of the kitchen. When Kendra was 2, she took a red crayon and a blue crayon and literally scrubbed them into the kitchen grout. I can say with authority that it is impossible to remove crayon from grout, even if it has been sealed. We have a rather patriotic looking section of grout.

On a disgusting side note, I once came down with the flu an hour or so after eating spinach salad with balsamic dressing. As I was getting sick, that distinctive taste and smell of balsamic made that particular bout of flu so much worse. It was years before I could handle the smell of balsamic vinegar. After tonight's episode, I'm thinking I may never buy another bottle of the stuff again.

Mover of Stuff

2007-08-17T14:05:00.000-05:00

I think instead of putting "Homemaker" or "Self-Employed" on next year's tax return, I'm going to list my job title as "Mover of Stuff."

Think about it. On any given day, that's what I spend the majority of my time doing. I go to the grocery store, where I move the merchandise from the shelves to the cart, from the cart to the checkout stand, from the stand to a bag. Then the bags go back into the cart, where they are moved again to the back of my car. Once I get home, I move the bags inside to the counter, I move the stuff inside the bags into the pantry or fridge, and then I haul everything out again when I need to cook. And that's just food prep.

It's the same with laundry, dishwashing, and general housecleaning. And I know that's the purpose of of having so much scrapbooking stuff. It's just so I can move it around and organize it and never actually have a chance to use it, right?

Someone, please tell me there's more to life than being a Mover of Stuff, because I'm getting rather depressed by the repetition and pointlessness of it all!

A Rational Person

2007-08-14T15:22:00.000-05:00

A rational person would not attempt to unbunk the girls' beds by herself. A rational person would have waited for her much-stronger and usually-willing husband to have come home, when she would have sweetly asked him to please help her unbunk the beds and completely rearrange the room. Never mind the fact that we just bunked the beds and rearranged the room a mere two months ago. A rational person would not obsess about how the the girls' room does not live up to HGTV standards. A rational person would stop watching HGTV so much. A rational person I am not.

Menu Plan Monday

2007-08-13T16:53:00.000-05:00

School's about to resume, summer's almost over, and it's time for me to actually start cooking again. I've been horribly lazy about not serving real meals lately, so I'm joining in on the Organizing Junkie's Menu Plan Monday. Hopefully I'll be motivated to plan out meals rather than throw together something random at the last minute.

Monday: COTF (Clean Out the Fridge). I could just call these leftovers, but this is such a hodgepodge of food that I'm calling it what it really is. Just call me Templeton.
Tuesday: Ziti with Meatballs (courtesy of Costco -- I'm just not ready to cook yet), salad, sourdough bread.
Wednesday: Tortellini with Grandma's Homemade Pesto, steamed carrots
Thursday: Not sure yet. Probably whatever the HEB Meal Deal is for the week.
Friday: Papa John's Pizza, served picnic style on the floor while watching High School Musical 2 with the kids.
Saturday: Chicken and Dumplings with Leeks and Tarragon, salad
Sunday: Souper Salad! The kids are 99 cents, and I have a BOGO coupon for Kevin and me. We'll feed the whole family for about $12, including drinks and tip.

2007 Reading List

2007-08-07T22:05:00.001-05:00

I haven't done a great job keeping up with my reading list. I know I've read some books that haven't made the list, but here's what I remember reading this year. The list is in chronological order, so scroll down to see my most recent reads.

The Novelist by Angela Hunt.
All She Ever Wanted by Lynn Austin. I liked it and will probably read another Austin book this year.
Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary. The humor is targeted more toward adult comprehension, and this one sure made me chuckle.
Strider by Beverly Cleary. The sequel to Dear Mr. Henshaw. I didn't love it as much, but Cleary is still one of my favorite children's authors.
Strawberry Girl by Lois Lensky. This was on the Sonlight recommended reading list. I don't think my kids are going to love this book.
The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall. A modern classic. I forked over the cash to have a hardcover copy, and it's worth every penny.
The Last Holiday Concert by Andrew Clements. Like all of Clements' books, this one is irreverently funny.
Ginger Pye by Eleanor Estes. I really thought I would like this one better, but it dragged for me. I'm not going to read this to my kids anytime soon.
Shopgirl by Steve Martin. NOT recommended. Highly offensive at times.
Ramona and her Mother by Beverly Cleary. A classic.
Proof by Bill Bright. A truly great novel. It was suspenseful, interesting, and encouraged me to pray more.
The List by Robert Ludlow. Whitlow is accurately described as a cross between Frank Peretti and John Grisham. A good novel, but I enjoyed the Grisham-like parts much more than the supernatural parts.
Forever by Karen Kingsbury. Completely forgettable, but I needed a light read.
Fire by Bill Bright. An excellent entry into the series. I love good historical fiction.
Fury by Bill Bright. My least favorite in the series, mostly because villainous characters seem to outnumber the righteous.
Love Comes Softly by Janette Oke. I saw the movie first, but I enjoyed the book also.
Love's Abiding Joy by Janette Oke. Undecided.
Love's Enduring Promise by Janette Oke. I never thought I'd say this, but the movie is better than the book.
Love's Long Journey by Janette Oke. The series is getting a little old for me. I'll need to take a break before I continue on.
Sunrise by Karen Kingsbury. Predictable and cheesy.
Honeymoon by James Patterson. Highly NOT recommended, unless you actually like novels about psychopath female killers. This was my second and last Patterson novel.
The Moffats by Eleanor Estes. This is the same author of the fabulous One Hundred Dresses, which I read as a child. I absolutely adored this novel. It ranks right up there with The Penderwicks as one of my favorite children's novels.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling. I had to re-read this one just before the Deathly Hallows came out. I didn't remember many of the major plot points. Could Harry have been more brooding in this one?
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling. Again, a re-read just before the #7 release. My least favorite book in terms of action and interest, but some of those dry dialogue scenes are important to get the whole history of Harry.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. Truly wasn't what I expected, but I was really happy with Harry's last hurrah. The book reads like a movie script in many areas.
Life Support by Robert Whitlow. Highly suspenseful with a great cliffhanger.
Life Everlasting by Robert Whitlow. The sequel to Life Support. It gets a little rushed toward the end as if Whitlow was running out of steam, but it's a worthy and necessary sequel.
Jimmy by Robert Whitlow. Do not attempt reading this one without a box of tissues nearby. My favorite Whitlow novel so far, despite some spotty editing mistakes.

Bear Bear's gone Bye Bye

2007-08-04T16:00:00.000-05:00

We're in Houston for the weekend, and the unthinkable has happened. Bear Bear got left at home and David is without his best friend for three long nights.

All my kids have had one of the Lovies. They have the head and arms like a stuffed animal and the body is a blanket. All my kids have needed to sleep with Lovie. Kendra's was a pink lamb and it got so dilapidated that we had to buy her a replacement at age 2. She never accepted the new one and her mangled old lambie is still in use. She doesn't need it to fall asleep anymore, but her lambie still holds a place of honor at the foot of her bed. When Caelyn came along, we wised up and bought her two bunnies from the start. Of course, being a child, she knows the difference between "good bunny" and "the other bunny." Good Bunny doesn't have a shred of satin left on her. Once I asked Caelyn what she would do when Bunny completely fell apart, and Caelyn sweetly answered, "Just keep on loving her."

David has not one, not two, but three Bear Bears. Like Caelyn, he had designated one of them "the other Bear Bear." That one is sitting on a lonely shelf in his closet. But the other two Bear Bears are equally worn and equally dirty and equally loved. We keep them in rotation so I can sneak one into the washing machine when it gets too filthy. Having two is also helpful for those rare but horrible nights when David's gotten sick and befouled his beloved friend. David loves his Bear Bear so much that we just had pictures taken at Target with David holding his stuffed buddy.

Yesterday Bear Bear was all packed and ready to go. David took him out of the suitcase and put him in the car "in case he wanted to take a nap" on the drive. Then David brought Bear Bear back inside because "he needed snuggle time." I looped the blanket part of Bear through the handle on David's suitcase and told David to leave him alone, but apparently he disobeyed. Kevin came home, we frantically packed up the car, and hit the road for a three-hour-drive that took four hours this time.

Bedtime came and we realized Bear Bear was MIA. We searched the car and the suitcases, but our fears were confirmed. David remembered leaving Bear Bear in the shopping cart in the kitchen.

David went to bed without a fight, but he was far from sleepy. Part of the problem is that David only sucks his thumb when he's holding Bear Bear. That's a plus in my book, because when it comes time for him to stop thumb-sucking, we'll only have to take away his Bear Bear. But the little guy is only three and I'm not worried about that yet.

At 9:45 I heard rustling from David's room. I opened the door and found him sitting in the dark on the floor going through his little red suitcase. He was rummaging through everything as if Bear Bear would magically reappear. When he saw me, David started crying about how he "just wants Bear Bear when it gets late." David does not cry often and it just broke my heart to see him sobbing over his best friend. I put him back into bed, prayed over him, and told him what a big boy he was. He sniffled and eventually feel asleep around 10:30, we think. He was up at 3 a.m. and up again at 6, this time for good.

Today we've been to Home Depot (love their crafts on the first Saturday -- the kids each made a wooden art caddy), the park, the pool, and we're about to head out to a restaurant. I'm hoping and praying that tonight he'll be so exhausted that he'll drift off more easily. If not, we'll catch up on sleep starting Monday night when David is gloriously reunited with Bear Bear. In the meantime, pray for him!

The Rain, It Grows Tiresome

2007-07-24T21:53:00.001-05:00

I don't have exact statistics on this, but I'm going to guess that it has rained 45 of the last 60 days. What is this, Seattle? Today at 4 o'clock it was so dark outside that we had to turn on the lights to see our jigsaw puzzle, even though we were sitting two feet from a westward facing window.

Usually I think that rain is wonderful. It's soothing to listen to, it makes things grow, it makes everything smell clean again. After two months of rain, though, it gets old. We can't even get the mail without being attacked by mosquitoes. Our afternoon trips to the pool are often cut short or cancelled altogether. Our roof is still not fixed and I keep waiting for the ceiling in our closet to come crashing in. Kevin's commute was over an hour tonight due to road closures, high-water rescues, and poor visibility.

I know God promised to never flood the earth again, but He seems to be pushing the envelope a little bit.

The Seventh Deadly Sin

2007-07-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

When I was in college, I took a course called Biblical Themes in Literature. The professor taught us the acronym PEWSLAG, which was a way to memorize the seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Lust, Avarice, and Gluttony.

I have long since experienced the first six of the seven sins. Monday night, I committed the seventh -- Gluttony.

After a long, horrible week of Kevin being gone every single night, and after 9 long months of Kevin serving on a high-maintenance committee at church, we were going out to celebrate. The church had finally chosen a new worship pastor, and Kevin was free. Plus, I had scored an upscale mystery shop at a local steak and seafood restaurant. We had a $200 expense limit, and we wanted to use as much as possible.

That was the mentality that led to my stomach's downfall.

I ate crab cakes with remoulade sauce, a spectacular asian pear salad, red snapper topped with scallops and crab and a scrumptious cream sauce, some asparagus, a roll, and a few bites of both tiramisu and a molten chocolate cake. Oh, and four raspberries. Top that off with a Cape Cod cocktail, several glasses of iced tea, and two cups of coffee. Everything tasted so flipping wonderful and I just couldn't stop eating.

I was fine, albeit stuffed, when we left the restaurant. By the time we got home, I could tell that my stomach was feeling a little too stretched. Later I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep, so I drank some Mylanta and read a book.

The next morning? Nope, still not hungry. I drank three sips of OJ and decided that was enough. Lunch time came and went and I still couldn't handle the thought of eating again. I finally got hungry around 4 p.m, which was good since we had another dinner mystery shop. This time I only ate half my entree and brought the leftovers home.

I'm quite sure I'll commit those first six deadly sins again. After all, it's pretty hard to overcome pride, jealousy, anger, laziness, lust, and greed. I can say with confidence that I won't commit gluttony anytime soon. Then again, we are eating at the Plaza Club on Wednesday night...

Dishwashing and other Marital Issues

2007-07-13T08:54:00.000-05:00

It's official... I've become the world's laziest housekeeper. There's just something about not having to be anywhere at any given time, not actually having to cook because Kevin is at church every single night for meetings, and not having the emotional and physical energy to do squat.

Case in point: I've started throwing everything except the good cutlery into the dishwasher. Now Kevin and I have had many a dishwasher discussion in our 11.5 years of marriage. He's a fan of handwashing, but he succumbs and puts dishes, glasses, and silverware in the machine. If I have put a mixing bowl with raw eggs into the dishwasher, Kevin actually takes it out and handwashes it "to make room for more stuff." We've literally had to discuss this issue in both our small group and in marriage counseling.

At one point I decided that I'd rather be married than be right, but this summer I've changed my tune. Consumer Reports says that it only costs 7 cents to run a dishwasher cycle. Good grief, 7 measly pennies? I'm sure I was spending more than 7 cents in hot water and Dawn to handwash the bowls and platters and other large items. So I'm a dishwashing convert and throw it all in now. (And here's another dirty little secret -- sometimes I run it without it being totally full! But I do it during the daytime so Kevin won't see. And since he never reads my blog, he won't hear about it either.)

Gotta run, I've got a sinkload of dishes to deal with.

Want An Easy 5 Bucks?

2007-07-05T09:17:00.001-05:00

I'm all about the rebates. I clip coupons, take advantage of the the Walgreens EasySaver program, and use Ebates to buy everything online. If you don't know about Ebates, it's brilliant. Before you buy ANYTHING online, login at Ebates.com. Scroll through the list of hundreds of stores, and click on the store you want. You'll be transferred to that company's site along with a tracking number. You buy what you want in the normal fashion, but the tracking number keeps a log of your purchases. A percentage of your purchase price is added to your Ebates account, and every few months you get a big fat check in the mail. It's a no-brainer, really. Free money for buying what you already would. I've saved money at Amazon, Kohl's, Office Depot, etc. I've also gotten 25% back on my magazine subscriptions. Truly a great program.

If you click on the link below, you can sign up and use me as a referral. We'll both get $5 in our Ebates accounts if you sign up and use my email as a referral. In case the link doesn't work, my email is "caivanofamily@earthlink.net".

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?id=9886812

Nehemiah 8:10

2007-06-28T21:28:00.001-05:00

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Today began ugly. I've been struggling with my eldest, and this morning was no different. On a good day, she and I merely butt heads. On a bad day, like today, I am often reduced to tears after I've lost it and screamed at her. It's a tough relationship, and this morning I questioned God's wisdom in giving me this child when I'm clearly not training her well or meeting her emotional needs.

Later, though, I listened to a CD on child training called "Starting Over." The message was clear -- I can't train my child unless I have a great relationship with her, and that won't happen unless I'm daily investing time with her and praising her. The speaker said that if I have 150 interactions with my child a day, 145 of them need to be lavish praise. Five of them can be correction, but they need to be blanketed in so much love that my child would want to please me by obeying. My praise-to-discipline ratio has been reversed lately.

The speaker also reminded me to find joy in my children, to laugh at their antics, to bring them alongside me during my day, and to be love their childishness. I was strongly convicted, because just an hour before I had barked at my kids to please leave me alone so I could have a few minutes of quiet while I wasted time on my computer. I'm hardly demonstrating love when I'm sending my children out of the room.

So tonight I'm claiming Nehemiah 8:10, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." I'm praying that he'll enable me to find joy in my children and to find joy in Him, so that all my parental weaknesses might become strengths. Here's hoping.

Bedtime Prayers

2007-06-27T23:23:00.000-05:00

Tonight during bedtime prayers I asked the kids to thank God for at least one thing. Kendra and Caelyn thanked him for a house to live in, for getting to see Curious George (for free) in the movie theater today, and for our family. All good things to be thankful for.

Then came David's turn. He's three and a half and is still quite shy about praying aloud. He whispered something incoherent and then grinned at me from ear to ear. I asked him what he thanked God for. David's said, "For going to heaven when we die." His vocabulary is limited and his grammar is error-prone, but David's prayer was perfect. And for that, I thanked God for my son, his tender heart, and his three-year-old understanding of Christ's work on the cross.

So... Very... Tired

2007-06-20T14:39:00.001-05:00

Eight days in Orlando followed by a week of VBS followed by a spontaneous sleepover. Sunday's forecast? Cloudy with afternoon naps.

I have a new favorite job for VBS: Preschool Assembly. The Amys and I sang, danced, and puppeteered. According to Amy M., I have a knack for puppet voices. And Amy T. and Amy S. and I had a blast leading songs and doing the little dance moves and hand motions. My greatest joy was watching all the preschoolers jump around with huge smiles on their faces, although my own son played shy and wouldn't dance with us.

By the way, I have officially done every job in VBS except crafts, but I've done crafts in MOPS so I think I've covered it all. I've done crew guide, hospitality (food), drama, games/activites, and assembly. The only job I haven't done and never want to do is coordinator. I'll let my good buddy Nancy keep that job -- she's doing a stellar job.

Elevator Dancing

2007-06-04T08:54:00.001-05:00

See, I would have gotten in the elevator.
Little known fact: My kids and I often dance in public bathrooms. If I'm going to be dragged to every store and restaurant bathroom in town, I might as well make it fun.

Random Updates and Happenings

2007-05-23T20:51:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday: Caelyn graduated from kindergarten. Yes, it's silly how many graduation ceremonies kids have to go through, but this one was adorable. The kindergarten teachers narrated a story about the week of Creation while the kids took turns creating the set on the stage. Every single child had a role to perform whether it be speaking a line into the microphone or carrying trees and gigantic animals onto the stage. I loved how every child was involved. Caelyn had a speaking part and did it well.

Our school also does a fantastic job coaching the kids to pause for a moment and smile at the crowd when they received their diplomas. Principal Paden shook their tiny hands, handed them a scroll, and reminded them to turn and smile. All the parents were appreciative of the staged and often hilarious photo ops. Many of the kids overperformed and turned out hysterically cheesy grins. In all, a great ceremony.

Last Friday: Caelyn's last day of school. The moms from two of the kinder classes joined forces for an all-out class party. One of the moms owns a commercial sno-cone machine and popcorn maker, so we took turns churning out snacks. Other moms set up art centers and games. The kids took turns rotating through all the stations. The party was only supposed to last for 45 minutes, but we were having a blast and finally called it at two hours. I'm so sad that Caelyn's teacher is moving to Dallas this summer. Mrs. Hill was a perfect match for Caelyn and one of the truly great teachers out there. (Of course, I'd say the same about Kendra's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Gordon. We'll be requesting her for David when it's his turn.)

Saturday: Spent the day at Sea World with the kids. My opinion of theme parks hasn't changed.

The day was redeemed when we watched the Spurs trounce upon Utah. I'll reiterate my previous prediction and state that the Spurs will win it all. After surviving the series with the Suns, the rest of the playoffs should be cake. OK, not cake, but they can definitely win another championship. Unfortunately, the Finals start on June 7 which is the same day we leave for Orlando. Kevin and I have already agreed that our days at Disney will have to revolve around the games. Yes, our priorities are not always normal, but I know that Amy understands.

We also managed to paint the girls' bedroom and bathroom this weekend. The color was supposed to be a soothing celery, but it turned out quite a bit brighter than I'd anticipated. It's growing on me but we definitely need to repaint the bathroom. The color makes us look queasy in the mirror.

Monday: Went to the opthalmologist again. She says I'm seeing 20/20. I've noticed a definite improvement in my sight in the last week, especially with nearsighted reading. My eyes still struggle to work together but it's getting better. My depth perception has greatly improved and I no longer feel like the floor is moving when I walk. The only real problem I'm experiencing is dryness, especially late at night and first thing in the morning. Basically I have to stumble out of bed, walk directly to the mirror, pry my eyes open and insert drops. I'm OK after a few minutes, but it's a little annoying to do that every morning.

Wednesday: Took Caelyn to the doctor for her 6-year-check up. She's 75th percentile in weight and 45th percentile in height, which is far shorter than the other two kids. Caelyn still has that sweet toddler look to her even though she's 6. Her legs are still short for her body and she'd got some definite pudge that I think is adorable.

The poor girl has several warts on her fingers, and the doctor applied a gel to them with the instructions to take off the band-aids and wash the gel off in four hours. We did, and Caelyn promptly started crying hysterically about how much her fingers stung. Two hours later and Caelyn had ENORMOUS blisters where the gel had been applied. Before bed I lanced the blisters while Caelyn shrieked at the top of her lungs. I tried to distract her by having her look at the Webkinz animals online while I was performing home surgery, but she wasn't having any of that. My ears are still ringing and an exhausted Caelyn is now asleep with fully bandaged hands. Next time she has warts I'm going to try the duct tape method instead.

We also had a late afternoon birthday party at Incredible Pizza. What a fun place! The food is far superior to Mr. Gatti's and Chuck E. Cheese. Even better, today was Wacky Wednesday so the game cards were unlimited play. I'm a skeeball fanatic, and the kids played just about every game they could. Caelyn even won a decent wristwatch in one of her games! I also tried my hand at the hunting game and shot myself half a dozen deer. That was surprisingly satisfying even though I'm not a fan of hunting. By the way, what I love most about Incredible Pizza is that it is Christian-owned and the prizes include tons of Christian themed selections. Christian jewelry abounds, and there are also Hello Kitty prizes and other benign options. Not a Sponge Bob to be found, hallelujah!

Thursday: Technically, this is tomorrow, but this is Kendra's last official day of first grade. The kids have had a week of pure fun. Today was pajama day and the kids got to clean our their desks. Tomorrow they go in the morning until 10 a.m., at which point we'll all caravan up to Spring Branch for the class party. One of the families has some acreage and they've rented one of those huge waterslides for the kids. I'll have the other two kids in tow, and I'm sure they'll all have a blast running around with water squirters. And on the way back into town we're going to stop by a store and let the kids pick out their Webkinz as a beginning-of-summer treat.

Friday: Our first official day of summer break, punctuated by a visit from my mom. The kids are thrilled to see their Grammy and have made a long list of what they want to do during the three-day visit. A visit to Stride Rite is a certainty. Kendra is already wearing a size 4 shoe. Yup, that's right, she's on the cusp of being able to shop in the women's department. And she's 7. The skinny mini can't wear anything above a 6x, and even those require adjustable waists. But the poor girl inherited my ginormous feet and she's doomed to a life of searching for cute shoes that fit and don't cost a fortune. We've already searched Payless and Target for summer sandals, but they either don't come in her size, don't fit, or look like hoochie mama shoes with stacked heels. Nope, not gonna. Stride Rite is pricey but conservative and cute. And Grammy will undoubtedly buy, God bless her.

So that's it, the week in review. Add to that a dozen loads of laundry, general housecleaning and cooking, preparing a summer schedule and gathering curriculum (did I mention that my pint-sized brainiacs want me to homeschool them this summer?), plus several trips to the grocery store, Target and the post office. Is it any wonder that I don't have time to sleep more than six hours a night?